Dharma and Grog

How about this story, as a 8216;secular8217; nightmare? Two woman friends, a Muslim and a Hindu, are conversing quietly in a corner of a s...

How about this story, as a 8216;secular8217; nightmare? Two woman friends, a Muslim and a Hindu, are conversing quietly in a corner of a smart urban drawing room in Delhi. The Muslim is an NRI who has just been to Ladakh. She is sharing her impressions with her Hindu friend, when a drunk Kashmiri Pandit, more loyal than the king to 8216;secularism8217;, overhears one woman say, 8220;But Ladakh is above Kashmir8221;. It is a purely geographical observation. The drunk knows absolutely nothing about their backgrounds or political sympathies. But on the pretext of 8220;strong feelings8221; on the issue of Jammu-Kashmir-Ladakh, he lurches over and begins to abuse them for 8220;dividing India8221;. He yells 8220;You8217;re BJP!8221; at the startled M lady. The women try to politely defuse things, but he won8217;t listen and continues abusing them.

The dharma quotient in such a situation is interesting. The drunk can be dismissed as a pathetic old loser. But what of the host, and the other men in the room? They were clearly in the grip of social paralysis while their friend indulged in social abuse. Was it not their dharma to lead this person away, damage-control a 8220;scene8221;, save everybody especially the drunk8217;s poor wife embarrassment? Whither chivalry? Instead, the two women under attack had to endure at least fifteen minutes of being a spectator sport, pasted into a corner by their Indian manners. Finally another woman, who was obviously an old friend of the drunk, came across and managed to send him away.

Consider this. There are no mainstream scriptural heroes, no traditions of chivalry, to cite to modern Indian men. Instead there8217;s a long and glorious line of scriptural wimps. Just think of Draupadi, humiliated in public while not only her useless husbands but also the Kuru elders sat dumb. Ram threw his pregnant wife out in the jungle because of one wicked rumour. Do any of these heroes set an example of dharmic behaviour?

Indians, whatever their faith, should reflect on how they have been damaged by their weird old traditions. Sanskriti and parampara are big words. But the expectations of their upkeep seem to be mainly from women. We would like to see some courage in everyday life from men, too. Oddly enough, you8217;d describe all those silent men a super-liberal mix of M and H as 8220;nice guys8221;. Here one recalls the cowardice taught to Tambrahms for instance, through sayings like Dushtana kanda doora vilangu. 8216;If you see a wicked person, move far away8217;. What a lily-livered piece of advice! Why can8217;t it be, Dushtana kanda, potu addi: 8216;If you see a wicked person, bash him up8217;. Or at least muster the nous to stop a friend from making a social pest of himself to strangers.