Dhansak with the Dabhoiwalas

Roshan: Sarosh was politely stubborn. The Parsis we know had just one thing to say8212;that there8217;s one less eligible boy for a Parsi woman. It was bad, I made life difficult for myself.

Archana smiling: And for me too, remember? She even called me home and advised me to find a nice Sindhi groom.

Bomy: Here, cheers to the growth of the Parsi community!

Murali to Archana and Wendy: You8217;ve blended in well.

Wendy: I had a much easier passage, though the relatives were a little cold initially.

Archana: These days, I8217;ve forgotten to speak Sindhi and am very fluent in Gujarati. And I8217;m ensuring that Farhan is brought up as a Parsi. He shouldn8217;t have a confused identity.

Roshan: The second time it happened with Zubin and Wendy, it was as bad if not worse. Zubin had even seen some Parsi girls. But since I8217;d already okayed his brother8217;s marriage, I had no leg to stand on. It8217;s all part of my mental make-up; I8217;m still very conservative.

Sarosh: Archana and I have often talked about this. Honestly, I8217;d prefer Farhan to marry a Parsi woman. But I don8217;t think I can dictate terms. Not me!

Zubin laughing: Will there be a good Parsi boy around by the time my daughter or son is of marriageable age?

Bomy sipping his beer: Some time back, there was talk about this ruling8230;

Roshan bursting with laughter: We called it fatwa.

Bomy: Which said even if the father were a Parsi, the children wouldn8217;t be recognised as such. These things don8217;t work.

Sarosh: When I see the papers, I feel that something must be done about this8230; 8216;8216;inclusiveness8217;8217;, interrupts Archana. Yes, I mean, OK, don8217;t let outsiders into your fire temples, but who has said that non-Parsis can8217;t attend Parsi funerals?

Bomy: When the first Parsis sailed to Gujarat, they promised the king they wouldn8217;t impose their religion on anybody. Which is how we have certain laws regarding outsiders. But that was then.

Adi who appeared from his room a little while ago and is watching all of us intently: Let me tell you, once Parsis did something for each other. Now they are all jealous of each other. All you have is old fogeys who don8217;t have a clue as to how to go about improving things.

Murali: So what does it feel like being part of a people who number a lot less than Test match spectators at Eden Gardens?

Sarosh: I suppose it makes the need for having a distinct identity stronger. If there were one crore Parsis, I don8217;t think ma would have made all that hue and cry. It took about two to three years for her to relent.

Zubin: We are as religious as men from any other community. We go to a fire temple and believe in the faith. But that8217;s about it. We can8217;t be fanatics hell-bent on keeping people out.

Bomy: The Parsis were always a small community and that8217;s how we will always be. Why is the media so interested in us now? I remember growing up with spinster aunts and unmarried uncles. It was seen as normal.

Roshan: But according to a report, we8217;ll go down to about 25,000 by 2020.

Murali: And you8217;ll be classified as a tribe.

Roshan slightly agitated: A tribe! You8217;ll call us a tribe!

Zubin: Does that mean job reservations and other kinds of privileges?

Adi: The Parsi Panchayat, I think, gives a thousand rupees for the upkeep of every third child. How much does a thousand amount to these days? It8217;s better you don8217;t give any money. They don8217;t want to part with the money. Earlier, you had great Parsi philanthropists. These days, the Tatas apart, where are they?

Roshan: And why should you have more children? Isn8217;t it best to focus your attention on two and give them the best in life?

Murali: Some Parsi scholars and priests feel that getting the bachelors and spinsters married is a way out.

Adi horrified: Not me. Singledom is what I like.

Sarosh: Finding a Parsi for oneself is difficult. I can count the number of Parsi girls I knew on my fingers.

Archana: I think in Delhi and other cities, even children with non-Parsi fathers are now being considered Parsis.

Murali: There is also talk of the stirrings of a Zoroastrian revival in Central Asian countries like Tajikistan.

Bomy: Yes, yes, somebody from Tajikistan was here last month. But if the core is small, how much can you grow? Ease out irrelevant laws and then we8217;ll have more people. Why can8217;t children of a Parsi mother be considered Parsis? The mother is responsible for their upbringing, isn8217;t it?

Adi eyeing me curiously: Are you going to put all this in the newspaper? Even my age? Why do you want to do that?

Bomy continuing from where he left off: Let me see, how many are we now? Globally, I think it8217;s around a lakh. And I think Toronto has the second-largest Parsi community after Mumbai. It is only in Mumbai that you have all this talk. In the US, the laws governing us are a lot less stringent. In time, this will fade away, until the next census.

Murali: It8217;s not just the media who8217;s zeroing in on you people these days. Two Parsi-oriented films are also in the offing.

Bomy resignedly: I8217;m sure it is going to be more of the same caricature.

Roshan: But we really don8217;t mind. We like to laugh at ourselves, laugh at ourselves before the others do. Come, let8217;s have lunch. There8217;s dhansak, it8217;s a must in every Parsi home on Sundays.

Zubin: And after lunch, a little siesta. Only then are you a true Parsi.