Cross connections

You frantically look up his residential number and try to reach him there. Just when you think your worries are over and the much-needed quote is a few minutes away, the voice at the other end says: quot;Sahib, walk pe gaye hain.quot; Of course, the health-conscious officer believes in long walks. He won8217;t be home for hours. When you finally call him around 9 pm, a stern voice warns you not to call up again as quot;Sahib is fast asleep.quot; Telephone rings at regular intervalsmight wake him up.

This scenario, a way of life at the local reporting section, repeats itself day after day without fail. Each reporter has his own sad story to tell the interns tales of harassment by officials in sarkari daftars who refuse to part with information even the most basic and routine. In fact, so common is the tendency to keep every bit of information under wraps that the personal secretaries of the illustrious officers do not hesitate in giving the most ridiculous of excuses.

There is this particular deputy commissioner of police, for instance, who never receives phone calls after 6 pm. No matter what the urgency, his personal secretary parrots a standard line: quot;Sahib pooja ghar mein hain. Disturb nahin kar sakte hain.quot; The excuse remains the same even when murders are reported in his district.

Giving the DCP competition is a senior official of the University Grants Commission. This officer hates being quoted on anything. His personal secretary hesitates fixing appointments asher boss is always busy attending meetings, addressing seminars and participating in paper reading sessions. And, if you dare to call him up at home, you are given the most hilarious of answers. quot;Sahib, naha rahein hai,quot; quot;Sahib, chai pi rahe hain,quot; quot;Sahib, baat kar rahein hai,quot; quot;Sahib, ghoom rahe hain.quot;

Forget the heads of departments, bosses and chiefs, even their staff have picked up the habit. Try getting a document from court staff and you will discover a whole new set of excuses doing the rounds in the corridors of justice. When you request them for a copy of a court order, all a court staffer will reply is: quot;Sorry ma-dam, come tomorrow. We don8217;t have a type-written order with us now.quot;

When you land up at their office the following day, they come up with a new excuse. quot;Madam, judge sahib is correcting the copy. We cannot give you the order.quot; But when a lawyer comes to ask for a kutcha copy, the duo exchange smiles and the clerk immediately hands over the document. In fact, if you visit asarkari daftar on a Friday morning, the entire staff will be in a weekend mood. The official concerned will most likely ask you to come again on Monday. quot;I can8217;t search for the file now. Please give me some time. Come on Monday.quot; Even on weekdays, it is futile visiting them between noon and 3 pm. The lunch hours extend much beyond the stipulated timings. During the sacred hour, all activity comes to a halt.

The courtesy of returning calls is out of question. In fact, the only guys who return calls are politicians during the elections. No matter how tied up they are in their hectic campaigning schedule, they never forget to return calls. They will even go a step further: they will call you up from every other public meeting, briefing you on the success of their campaign. After the polls, it is back to square one.