Actor Dalljiet Kaur recently opened up about her decision to remarry and how her son’s emotional needs influenced it. Appearing on the latest episode of SCREEN’s Dear Me, she shared how she fell in love with her first husband, Shalin Bhanot. “Shalin and I did Kul Vadhu, and then Nach Baliye. When we won Nach Baliye, it became very obvious that we were a couple. We were obviously in love, so it was understood that we would get married to each other. After Nach Baliye, we got married within a couple of months. We didn’t get the luxury of spending a lot of time with each other. I wish I had known more about him, but then these things wouldn’t have happened.” Kaur opened up about coping with her first marriage ending, sharing that she avoided relationships for nine years, struggled to accept her divorce, and often broke down. With an infant son, Jaydon, it was a challenging time. When asked about Bhanot’s involvement in Jaydon’s life over the nine years, Kaur explained, “Shalin was around in those 9 years. It was not like he was taking care or making decisions, but he would meet once in a while. Jaydon grew up seeing him around, calling him dad. I thought it was healthy for him to at least keep meeting Jaydon. So, anytime Shalin asked to meet him, I would allow it. But today, if you ask Shalin how old Jaydon is, he wouldn’t know.” Kaur mentioned that her son was thrilled about the idea of her second marriage, as he missed having a father figure in his life. “Jaydon was craving for a dad. He would see his friends having their dads around when he went for stayovers or even on Father’s Day, so he wanted that. He was thrilled for the second marriage because he, of course, missed having a father around at all times. It was a nightmare seeing Jaydon go through what he did. I protected him for 9 years. I decided back then to protect him, and then this happened. It felt like I failed. Jaydon didn’t deserve all of this; no child on this earth does,” she said. This sheds light on a crucial issue many single parents face: balancing their child’s emotional longing for a parent figure with the need to prioritise their overall well-being and happiness. Some strategies single parents can use to help their child cope with the absence of a parent figure Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney tells indianexpress.com, “When single parents are trying to help their child cope with the absence of a parent figure, it's important to foster open communication. Creating a safe space where the child can express their feelings about the absent parent is key.” Additionally, she says, focusing on quality time with the child is essential, prioritising one-on-one activities that strengthen the parent-child bond. It's crucial to normalise the child's feelings, validating their emotions about the absent parent and helping them understand that it’s okay to miss them. Some signs that a child may be struggling with feelings of longing for a parent figure According to Gursahaney, some signs are: -Withdrawal: Reduced interest in social or family activities. -Behavioural Changes: Increased tantrums, defiance, or regressive behaviours. -Academic Issues: Decline in school performance or loss of focus. -Expressions of Loneliness: Verbalising feelings of missing the absent parent or wishing for one. -Seeking Attention: Overcompensating through clinginess or acting out. How can parents address these issues effectively? To address these issues, Gursahaney says, it's helpful to encourage the child to express their feelings through conversations, art, or journaling. If the child's struggles persist or escalate, consulting a counsellor can provide additional support. “Providing reassurance and reminding the child that they are loved and supported, no matter the circumstances, is important. Maintaining consistent routines will help provide a sense of security during this challenging time.”
