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‘Makes any girl feel vulnerable’: Why new mom Katrina Kaif wants her kids to have both parents; how childhood gaps shape parenting

Raised by her mother, Suzanne Turquotte, alongside seven siblings, Katrina once asked her how she managed the responsibility alone

Katrina Kaif on not having a father figure in her lifeKatrina Kaif on not having a father figure in her life (Source: Express Photo by Prakash Yeram)

Conversations about family and parenthood often circle back to the impact of childhood experiences. Many people carry forward the lessons, strengths, and even the voids they felt growing up, shaping the kind of parents they aspire to be.

In a 2019 interview with Filmfare, Katrina Kaif, who welcomed a baby boy with Vicky Kaushal on November 7, reflected on her upbringing and how it influenced her vision of family. She shared, “Not having a father figure does create a certain vacuum and makes any girl feel vulnerable. When I have kids, I want them to have the experience of being with both parents.”

She also admitted that moments of emotional struggle made her long for paternal support, saying, “Each time I’ve gone through something emotionally hard, I was compelled to reflect that it must be nice for those who have a strong fatherly support from a male figure, who loves you unconditionally.”

Raised by her mother, Suzanne Turquotte, alongside seven siblings, Katrina once asked her how she managed the responsibility alone. “I asked her, ‘What were you thinking when you had so many children, and how did you do it on your own?’ But in the last few years, what my mom had to say about life has been much more helpful to me. It bears more weight. Now that you can see things from a distance, you realise it must have been tough for her.”

But, how does growing up without one parent, especially a father figure, affect a child’s sense of security, vulnerability, and emotional development?

Sonal Khangarot, a licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, tells indianexpress.com, “Growing up without one parent, especially a father figure, can deeply shape a child’s inner world. Fathers often serve as both protectors and role models, so their absence may create a gap in the child’s sense of security and belonging. Many children in such situations grapple with heightened vulnerability—they may question their worth, feel abandoned, or worry about stability in relationships later in life. This can manifest as anxiety, self-doubt, or a tendency to either over-depend on others or become overly self-reliant.”

At the same time, she notes that children are incredibly resilient. “With consistent care, love, and guidance from the remaining parent or extended family, they can still grow into emotionally strong individuals. What matters most is whether their emotional needs are acknowledged and nurtured.” 

When individuals become parents themselves, how often do they consciously or unconsciously try to ‘fill the gaps’ from their own childhood?

Khangarot states that for some, this means offering their children the love, security, or opportunities they missed, which can be deeply healing and help them rewrite their own narratives. 

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“The benefit is that they often become more empathetic and intentional in their parenting. However, the challenge lies in overcompensation—projecting their unmet needs onto their children or parenting from a place of fear. The healthiest approach is self-awareness: recognising what was lacking, while allowing their child’s needs to guide their parenting,” she mentions. 

For single parents raising children today, what strategies can help them build resilience and ensure their children feel emotionally supported?

For single parents, Khangarot explains that the key is creating a consistent environment where children feel loved, safe, and valued. Maintaining routines provides stability, while involving extended family or trusted mentors can give children additional role models. It’s also important for single parents to prioritise their own well-being; emotionally regulated parents raise emotionally secure children. Instead of focusing on what’s missing, highlighting strengths within the family unit helps children develop resilience. 


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