Associated with the ‘behavior of vultures’, this dating trend is ‘more like love bombing’

According to Ekta Dixit, a life and relationship coach, “vulturing” is typically associated with the behavior of vultures in the animal kingdom, where they scavenge or prey upon the remains of dead animals. In dating, vulturing is more like love bombing — when someone bombs you with a lot of love, attention, and care when the other person’s relationship is about to die.

She added that it’s a manipulative technique to provide a shoulder to cry on with the intention to become their support and turn it into a relationship. “Most often than not, such relationships are usually a sign of rebound or trauma bond. When someone’s relationship has lost its own charm, thrill, fire or has already broken, leaving them emotionally vulnerable, they circle around to pull them close with their special treatment,” Dixit continued.

The expert noted that intention matters a lot while determining if someone is vulturing because there’s nothing wrong in lending support or giving love during their lowest time. “However, the nastiness is that it comes from a space of manipulative tactics and opportunism, instead of a place of love, compassion, or friendship. So most people who are vulturing, try capitalising and exploiting people who are bearing the brunt of emotional vulnerability.”

Adding to this, Sheetal Shaparia, a relationship coach said that vulturing is a major red flag to watch out for. “Interfering with a person’s grieving process robs them of self-learning and reflecting curve. It hinders their personal growth. This shows that what you are doing is for yourself and not because you genuinely care about the other person.”

It’s important to note that simply waiting and hoping for a chance with someone who’s relationship is on the verge of breakup is not necessarily vulturing. (Source: Freepik)

The worst part is that their efforts don’t last long, explains an article on Bolde. They might act like they want to finally commit and become official; however, they just give you some attention and love for a while before disappearing again, making you caught up in their toxic cycle.

A survey done in 2018 by Plenty of Fish, a dating application, showed that 20% of the surveyed singles admit to vulturing someone, with 22–25-year-olds being the age group most likely to take part.

However, vulturing is not a modern phenomenon, argues Flash Pack magazine. It just has a new name. According to the article, “hovering on the edges of a dying relationship, hoping for scraps when it all goes tits up,” used to be called “on the rebound or sloppy seconds.”

With social media, vulturing has only grown in leaps and bounds with individuals being able to see other person’s relationship status, posts, photos and much more information which was not available earlier. “Not that vulturing didn’t exist before, but social media and our tendency to post everything on our social profiles has increased the likeliness of this trend. You show off your partner, choice of clothes, food and locations on the web, and a vulture can pick up all these to impress you when you are wreaked after a breakup,” Shaparia concluded.

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