Signs you may have ‘unrealistic expectations’ from your partner

Unrealistic expectations in a relationship

She shared six examples of what unrealistic expectations could look like. They are:

1. Thinking they will change for you (because it means they love you)
2. Thinking they should just know what you need (without you having to say it)
3. Thinking you have to love every single thing about each other.
4. Thinking spark and passion would be there without effort or intention.
5. Thinking they will complete you and finally provide the happiness you have been patiently waiting for.
6. Thinking the right way to respond, react, or do things is the way you would.

 

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A post shared by Maria G. Sosa – Therapist (@holisticallygrace)

Speaking with indianexpress.com, Kamna Chibber, Head – Mental Health at Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Fortis Healthcare said, “Every person has expectations from the other person in the relationship, be it any relationship. However, if these happen in a vacuum and are set without keeping in mind the capacity of the other, the situations and circumstances of life, other roles and responsibilities that may exist then they can become unrealistic as the person on the other side may not be able to supply to them”.

What happens when you have unrealistic expectations from your partner?

When expectations are unrealistic it can lead to constant feelings of dissatisfaction, disappointment and as a result resentment, anger and unhappiness. “It can lead to a greater number of conflicts and can negatively impact communication. Concurrently, it can make people feel that they may not be able to be the best person in these equations and make them doubtful about their capability of being in and maintaining relationships,” added Chibber.

Things to do to make sure you do not have unrealistic expectations from your partner

Chibber shared some points to keep to avoid setting unrealistic expectations from our partner. They are:

– Be willing to evaluate your expectations
– Look at what the other person is capable of
– Recognise that you need to be the person in charge of your happiness and contentment and don’t let it become a burden on the other
– Be willing to engage in a conversation with the other to understand from them what they can do
– Try not to pile all needs on to one relationship

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