‘I thought for five minutes’: When Shweta Bachchan revealed she decided to marry Nikhil Nanda just 10 days after meeting him; expert on importance of dating first

Amitabh Bachchan, present during the interview, expressed his hopes that his daughter’s choice was the right one, saying, “I hope my samdhis (in-laws) are happy and I hope my son-in-law is happy.” Shweta and Nikhil tied the knot on February 16, 1997, and have two children, Navya Naveli Nanda and Agastya Nanda. 

Beyond his marriage to one of Bollywood’s most influential families, Nikhil Nanda comes from a distinguished lineage himself. As Escorts Limited’s chairman and managing director, he has established himself as a leading figure in the business world. He also has strong Bollywood connections, being the grandson of Raj Kapoor and the cousin of Karisma Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor, and Ranbir Kapoor.

So, what factors influence someone’s ability to make a lifelong commitment so quickly, and how often do such spontaneous decisions lead to lasting marriages?

Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Deciding to marry within days of meeting, as Shweta Bachchan did, is rare but not unheard of. Such decisions may stem from attachment styles, the current life stage of that person, and even how marriage and its need is modelled in the family.”

 

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A person with a secure attachment may be able to trust their instincts and commit without deep fears of abandonment coming forth, adds Arora. “While a person with an anxious attachment may commit quickly due to a strong desire to ‘not let go.’ We are all products of our environments and how marriages are seen, performed and whether they are long term or not can impact one’s view on ‘finding the one’.”

How important is the dating phase?

According to Arora, the dating phase is crucial for building emotional attunement between two partners. “If we take the more logical route, if life is one big challenge and you and your partner are constantly fighting off the triggers, both internal and trigger, you would need to know your partner, their likes and dislikes, their emotional needs and inner world,” he explains

He further highlights the Gottman Institute’s research, stating that understanding each other’s conflict styles, core values and expectations, and emotional and physical needs can predict relationship success. Skipping this stage may increase marital dissatisfaction, simply because the couple may not have learned to cope through life together. This may eventually reduce the chances of divorce. 

Role of family legacies and shared backgrounds in the success and stability of marriages

Sharing backgrounds may provide stronger social and financial alignment, Arora adds, which can otherwise become a major source of conflict. Familiarity with the culture also helps in the assimilation of families and can prevent social isolation and alienation. Ultimately, while shared backgrounds provide a strong foundation, the couple’s ability to create a secure emotional base (EFT) and navigate challenges together determines long-term success.