‘What’s her fault if my man…’: When Shilpa Shetty opened up about being cheated on; why blaming the ‘other woman’ is not the solution

She further expressed how the betrayal affected her, revealing, “Akshay Kumar used me and conveniently dropped me after he found someone else. The only person I was upset with was him. But I’m sure he’ll get it all back. It’s not easy to forget the past so soon, but I’m glad I’ve had the strength to move on. Today, he’s a forgotten chapter as far as I’m concerned. I will never work with him again.”

Despite the emotional toll, she found the strength to move on and also made it clear that while her personal life was falling apart, she remained professional, ensuring that their film Dhadkan was completed without disruptions. However, Akshay at the time, dismissed such claims, to which Shilpa said, “”That’s his opinion, not mine. After what he did with me, what else could he say?”

However, both actors seem to have moved past it as they were seen dancing together at an event recently.

So, what happens when the partner who cheated denies any wrongdoing?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room,  highlights that denial from the unfaithful partner “adds another layer of psychological distress.” She states, “If the betrayed person already feels hurt and confused, being gaslit — that is, being made to question their perception of reality — can be even more damaging. They may begin to doubt their instincts, thinking, ‘Am I overreacting?’ or ‘Did I misinterpret things?’”

This kind of response from the unfaithful partner can cause emotional stagnation, she mentions,  preventing closure. Without acknowledgment of the betrayal, the hurt partner may struggle to fully process their emotions, making it harder to move forward. In some cases, the constant invalidation can lead to a loss of self-trust, which can have long-term effects on their emotional well-being.

Why do some people tend to blame the ‘other woman’ instead of holding their partner accountable for infidelity?

In cases of infidelity, Khangarot states, it’s not uncommon for the betrayed person to direct their anger toward the third party rather than fully blaming their partner. This happens for several psychological reasons:

• Cognitive Dissonance: It’s painful to accept that someone you loved and trusted deliberately betrayed you. It can feel easier to believe that an outsider “tempted” them rather than facing the reality that your partner made a conscious choice to cheat.
• Emotional Displacement: Anger is a difficult emotion to process, and sometimes people redirect their hurt toward a person they feel is more “replaceable.” Confronting a partner means facing the risk of losing the relationship, which can be terrifying, so blaming the other person can feel like a safer emotional outlet.
• Cultural Conditioning: There is often an ingrained societal tendency to blame women for disrupting relationships, especially when the cheating man is seen as otherwise respectable. This is why terms like “homewrecker” exist, even though the responsibility for faithfulness lies with the committed partner.

However, as Shilpa Shetty’s statement reflects, true emotional growth comes from recognizing that the betrayal lies solely with the partner who broke the commitment. “Shifting the blame allows the unfaithful person to escape accountability, whereas acknowledging their responsibility is crucial for closure and healing,” stresses Khangarot.