‘She has made so many mistakes…’: Govinda calls wife Sunita Ahuja ‘a child’ and says he’s forgiven her many times; what this reveals about emotional roles in marriage

Speaking warmly of her, he said, “She is a child herself. My children handle my wife as if she’s a child. Sunita is like a kid, but the responsibilities that she was given, she could manage our household, only because she is what she is. She is an honest child. Her words are never wrong. It is just that she says things that she shouldn’t.” Reflecting further on their dynamic, he admitted, “The problem with men is that they can’t think on those lines. I always believe that a man runs the house, but women run the whole world (sic).”

Govinda also revealed that forgiveness has played a major role in sustaining their relationship. “She has herself made so many mistakes… I have forgiven her and the entire family so many times,” he said, adding, “Sometimes, according to me, we rely too much on them. Especially if your mother is not with you, so you rely too much on your wife. And as time passes, she starts scolding you like a mother, and she also explains like a mother. They don’t realise it, but we see it. We can see how they have changed now and how they were when they were young (sic).”

But why do some couples develop a parent-child dynamic over time?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “We’re often conditioned to believe that our partner should be our entire world. Someone who nurtures, protects, and fulfils every need. This belief, though emotionally comforting, can create an imbalance over time. The human brain, shaped by years of conditioning, naturally seeks familiarity and security, so when one partner takes on a caregiving or decision-making role, the other may unconsciously become dependent.’

This is especially common when family structures change, she adds, such as after the loss of a parent or a shift in family roles. “While occasional nurturing is natural and even healthy, constant emotional reliance can strain the relationship, leading to resentment or exhaustion.” Mutual awareness and boundaries are essential to maintaining emotional balance and ensuring that both partners remain equals rather than slip into parent–child roles.

Can repeatedly forgiving a partner’s mistakes sometimes lead to emotional imbalance or resentment? 

Forgiveness is a strength, Khangarot notes, but when it becomes repetitive without accountability or change, it can create emotional imbalance and quiet resentment. For instance, if one partner keeps apologising for hurtful behaviour — like constant criticism or neglect — without effort to improve, the forgiving partner begins to suppress their pain to ‘keep the peace.’ Over time, this self-silencing leads to emotional exhaustion and loss of self-worth. 

“Recognising the boundary lies in noticing when forgiveness stops feeling freeing and starts feeling heavy. True forgiveness should bring closure, not repetition; growth on both sides, not just tolerance from one,” states the expert. 

Maintaining equality and understanding in a relationship

When one partner is more emotionally expressive or ‘childlike,’ equality can be maintained through awareness and emotional attunement rather than correction or control. 

“Healthy balance comes from recognising and valuing both roles, sharing responsibilities, and expressing needs without judgment. Open communication, emotional validation, and self-regulation help both partners feel seen and respected, preserving mutual understanding rather than slipping into a parent-child dynamic,” concludes Khangarot.