Mugdha Kalra’s I See You, I Get You is a loving guide to parents of autistic children

Mugdha Kalra, journalist and mother to an autistic child, is unafraid to point out deficiencies in India’s public and private sectors that become hostile to neurodiverse children. She acknowledges that even that word — neurodiversity — might confuse educated Indians who have been desensitised to the plight of anyone who looks or acts a little too differently. Her memoir-cum-guide, I See You, I Get You: The Self-Care Guide for Special Needs Parents is loving, informed and accessible, particularly for someone parenting an autistic child and in need of support.

Kalra uses her journalistic background to say a lot with less. She talks of academic work done on autism and gives reading recommendations for laypeople. She narrates stories of her son, Madhav, and how heartbreaking it was at various points of her life to deal with the diagnosis, and how grief is to be expected. She doesn’t try to provide baseless encouragement to caregivers and wants parents, especially, to know how to look after themselves, reminding them that one can’t pour from an empty cup. She supplements the text with charts, tables and questionnaires that will bring them more in touch with uncomfortable feelings they’re likely to encounter in their caregiving journey: Who am I? Am I more than a parent? Is it okay to feel frustrated? Can I feel envious of other families?

Kalra also encourages caregivers to seek support outside the health and educational sectors, recognising that most Indian schools are not equipped to deal with autistic children, therapists don’t provide silver bullets and any specialised treatment is likely to cost a lot — the importance of friends and family cannot be overstated. With this book, Kalra gives caregivers a language to express the whiplash of their daily lives — always the first step to getting better.