On many occasions during the trial, it seemed that Amber Heard, who lost the defence case against ex-spouse Johnny Depp’s defamation suit, was expected to be the perfect victim. When survivors open up about sexual assault or domestic violence, one of their biggest fears is that they would not live up to the expectations of “perfect victimhood”. It is a major reason why survivors do not come forward and seek legal help, and one of the biggest myths about sexual violence. What does the term mean? Simply, to be the perfect victim means to show that the victim did not ask for it. When it comes to domestic violence or sexual violence no one is ever “asking for it”, but patriarchal public and legal systems often hold victims responsible for assaults. Victims are expected to have a watertight case and at every step remain “faultless”, so much so that victims often second-guess themselves. Those who believe in perfect victimhood pick apart a victim’s personality traits or behaviours that may even be unrelated to the assault in order to disparage the victim and ultimately question their credibility. What are some examples of perfect victimhood? American actor and stand-up comedian Amy Schumer once stated a boyfriend had raped her while she was sleeping, but she comforted him afterwards because she loved him. "It's not this 'perfect rape.' People want you to have been raped perfectly and they want you to be a perfect victim,” she wrote in her book ‘The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo’. Another example would be a victim having a history of substance abuse. If they are assaulted while on drugs, they may not remember all the details. Perfect victimhood would then demand either “Why were they doing drugs in the first place?” or say “This is what happens when you do drugs”. It will also expect that all the steps leading up to the assault are clearly remembered. In cases of domestic violence, a partner can retaliate in defence against the abuser. This is often viewed as not an actual victim’s behaviour because in theory it is believed that a victim is always on the receiving end of abuse and never fights back. Newsletter | Click to get the day's best explainers in your inbox How does perfect victimhood affect survivors? As a result of this perception, survivors are often led to believe that they did something wrong and that caused the assault. They are made to believe that when they are questioned, it must seem in the eyes of the world that they were the victim at every step. They believe that if there are gaps in the narrative or if they show they had the agency to challenge an abuser they will not get sympathy or justice. What was #MeToo’s role in battling the myth of the perfect victim? The movement made survivors find a platform to share their personal experiences of sexual violence. By allowing survivors to speak on their own terms, without having to justify their actions or motivations as in a court of law, #MeToo bashes this concept. The slogan “Believe Women” is closely connected to busting the myth of perfect victimhood. Was Heard the “perfect victim”? Alexandra Brodsky, a civil rights attorney, told Time that Heard was discredited “based on conduct that had nothing to do with whether she was abused or not…I had really naively thought that we were past that after #MeToo,” she told Time. Deborah Tuerkheimer, author of ‘Credible: Why We Doubt Accusers and Protect Abusers’, also told Time about the Perverse Goldilocks behaviour, in which “victims are expected to represent the right amount of emotionality”. If they are too emotional, they are perceived as hysterical and untrustworthy and suspect. If she’s too calm, that too is held against her, Tuerkheimer said. Does the perfect victim really exist? The various difficult expectations that survivors have to fulfil in order for their testimony to be believed are unrealistic since sexual violence is complex and multi-dimensional. In cases like that of Schumer and many others, the perfect victim does not actually exist, but that does not stop them from being victims of crimes who seek justice.
