‘I got support but ultimately it’s my battle and I’ve felt so alone’: Bhavana

This is not an unreasonable demand. For Bhavana, who has been at the centre of a case that has shaken the Malayalam film industry, shattered old certainties and punctured the image of a “fraternity”, it would perhaps have been too on-the-nose to play “one of those ‘bold female characters’”, as she describes it. In February 2017, the actor was abducted and assaulted while on her way home from a shoot. Dileep, a reigning superstar of Malayalam cinema, was alleged to have masterminded the attack and was arrested in July (he was out on bail in October).

The trial finally began in January 2020 and with several twists and turns — including demands that the judge be changed, rejected by the Supreme Court, the quitting of two Special Public Prosecutors appointed to the case and the emergence of a new witness with more allegations against Dileep — goes on. Bhavana revealed herself as the survivor in the case in January last year, through an Instagram post in which she wrote about the “many attempts to humiliate, silence and isolate” her. “But at such times I have had some who stepped forward to keep my voice alive. Now when I hear so many voices speak up for me I know that I am not alone in this fight for justice,” she wrote.

To those distant enough from the case, it was an encouraging note, a sign of resilience and the will to fight — one that several colleagues from the film industry reposted and shared on their own pages. But it’s not quite so simple, Bhavana reveals. “So many people tell me that I can do it, that I can continue fighting and I’m truly grateful for their support. But at the same time, I keep thinking that I can’t go on living like this. My husband and my family and friends are there, but ultimately, it’s my battle. And I have felt so alone through it all.”

Bhavana found support within the industry almost immediately after the first reports of the assault emerged — among the steadiest of her supporters have been several women colleagues from the industry, including actors Parvathy Thiruvothu, Remya Nambeesan, Rima Kallingal and Archana Padmini and directors Geethu Mohandas and Anjali Menon, all members of the Women in Cinema Collective which was formed as a response to the attack on Bhavana. But all along there have also been those, she says, “who feel comfortable sitting around and trashing me”.

The post was as much a riposte to them as it was an expression of gratitude for those who had stood by her. “The most painful thing about the last few years has been the allegation that I fabricated the whole case. That was breaking me. They made me question myself and my sanity. I sometimes wanted to scream, ‘This is not how my parents raised me. I’m not an evil person.’ Even now I wonder what I did to deserve such treatment,” she says.

Which is why, even as she returned to work with Kannada films, Bhavana was hesitant to work on a Malayalam film. When the makers of Ntikkakkakkoru Premondarnn came to her with the project, she took months to make up her mind. “I had said no to many big projects with people like Prithviraj, Jayasuriya… I had decided that I won’t make a comeback to the Malayalam film industry, that it was better for my mental peace,” she says.

She finally agreed to do the film, which is directed by Adhil Maimoonath Asharaf and which co-stars Sharaf U Dheen, because it was a “small, good-hearted” love story. The role itself was also an attraction: “Nithya (her character) is a very mature, sensible female. Playing a divorcee, who is also a mother is very different from what I have done before. All my characters are usually so childish and tomboyish. So this was a new shade for me also.”

 

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Bhavana debuted in films at the age of 15 with filmmaker Kamal’s Nammal (2002). “The film’s writer (Kalavoor Ravikumar) had seen one show I had done for a local channel which was shown only in Thrissur (her hometown). He approached my father to see if I would be interested in playing the lead role in the film.” Bhavana, who had dreamed of becoming an actor since she was a young child — once, as per a favourite anecdote of hers, even wanting to jump off a roof as Amala did in Ente Sooryaputhrikku (1991), so that she too could wear a cast like her idol — agreed.

Only, it turned out, the role had already been given to another actor by Kamal, who then agreed to try her out for the supporting character of Parimalam. For someone who had fantasised about making her screen entry with the wind blowing her hair — “like Sreedevi or Kajol” — this was heartbreaking.

But Kamal was impressed enough with her to cast her immediately and his confidence in her abilities was reflected in the audience’s appreciation as well as the awards that year. She won the Kerala State Film Award — Special Mention for her performance, as well as Best Supporting Actress at the Asianet Film Awards. Over the next few years, offers poured in, including from the Tamil, Telugu and Kannada film industries, and Bhavana began having a fairly busy shooting calendar.

Now, she says, she must have a Plan B. “I tried to stay away (from acting), but there was a vacuum inside me. To be honest, I don’t know anything other than acting. And even though I’m really grateful for the long journey I’ve had as an actor, you can’t be sure of anything in this profession.”