One of the most versatile actors of our time, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, recently played a transgender in Haddi. Nawazuddin admits that after doing a few romantic comedies and “experimental films”, he has realised that the audience prefers him doing “dark, intense” roles, and that’s what he wants to explore further. In this interview with indianexpress.com, the actor dissects his acting process, opens up about why he thinks he’s more suited for intense roles and explains why he no longer feels the need to defend himself when controversies come calling. No more romantic comedies Regarding the audience preferring his "dark, intense" roles over his romantic turns, Nawazuddin Siddiqui says, “I think that those characters (the dark or intense ones) were written so well because of the director’s research and preparation. Whereas when it comes to light roles, they aren’t written that prominently. That’s the thing about such a film, as the overall movie or story gets more prominence than a single character. And in films like these (Haddi, Manto, Gangs Of Wasseypur), characters are more important. Characters in dark films are prominent, and the director also works towards enhancing his characters. These characters are solid, and maybe that’s why it is possible that people have loved and accepted my more intense roles.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Nawazuddin Siddiqui (@nawazuddin._siddiqui) “Was conscious about sharing screen with Anurag Kashyap” In Haddi, Nawazuddin, for the first time, shared the screen with filmmaker Anurag Kashyap, who has directed him in iconic movies like Black Friday, the Gangs Of Wasseypur films and Raman Raghav 2.0. So how was it different this time when Anurag was not his director, but a co-star? Nawazuddin says he was conscious about sharing screen space with Anurag. He explains, “I kept feeling that while we were doing scenes, he’d interrupt me and tell me, ‘You are not doing the scene correctly, do it this way or that way.’ But I was happy that he didn’t correct me, the director did that to both of us instead. It was fun working with him because he has some very important sequences, especially the climax. However, I was feeling a bit awkward because he was physically not keeping too well at the time. I had to be brutal to him, but he was not well at the time. So I was a bit conscious.” “I wasn’t portraying a transgender, I was a woman” Nawazuddin Siddiqui received lots of love from the audience and the transgender community for his portrayal of Haddi. The actor shares that all the time he was in the character, he didn’t think of himself as a transgender, but a woman. He says, “Mentally I never thought that I was playing a transgender. I always thought that I was playing a female role because every transgender wishes that they want to be a complete woman. So, I had told myself just that.” “After doing a character, I tend to try to search for myself in it” The actor also shared how he approaches work, describing it as a “lifelong struggle”. He says, “If I know that a role is easy and that I can do it in a simple way and still get all the appreciation, then I won’t do it. I cannot do it. I think in every character, there is something hidden in it, and I am obsessed to find that what is hidden. It is the same way I feel about life. I feel the need to explore the hidden bits in the characters I play. This is also how I live my life. I have mostly done some of the most badtameez (impertinent) characters, along with some very saintly roles like Manto. And I have loved every bit of it. I have explored them in a very personal way. I feel it is important for me to explore every shade of the characters I play. That’s what is important for me. You never know what character gives you what in the end.” "I didn't feel the need to defend myself" Anurag Kashyap had recently said that Nawazuddin Siddiqui is often “misjudged” because he doesn’t defend himself. On why he doesn’t talk much about his life and give clarifications, Nawazuddin says, “Main kab tak karunga (Till when will I keep defending myself)? Something or the other will always keep happening in life. My work is something else. If I get into the job of defending myself, then koi matlab nahi hai (it makes no sense). There is no point in reacting. It has happened many times that I have said something in a different context, but it has been presented in a twisted manner and then that has become my image. Ab image ko bachane ke chakkar mein kitna daud-bhaagunha main (For how long will I keep struggling to safeguard my image)? Initially I would react by saying that I didn’t say it, defended myself a few times, but then when I realised that this is happening all the time. I withdrew. I didn’t feel the need to defend myself.” The actor also added that he tends to "run away" from responsibilities and worldly expectations. He says, “I am happy in life at this stage. My work gives me happiness. I run far away from life-related stuff, from worldly expectations. It is my habit that I run away from reality and responsibilities because I thrive on acting. I have fun doing it. Even when I die, I will resurrect in three months to do some acting (chuckles).”
