‘At 33, I was offered roles of 50 year old aunties’: Kusha Kapila says she isn’t ‘answerable to anyone’ commenting on her body

“I have watched so many body transformation Reels about me, sometimes I feel I am not even in my body anymore. I am constantly feeling that someone else is talking about my body more than I am so I thought I should talk about it myself,” she said. Kusha revealed this is not the first time she has lost a significant amount of weight. Sharing pictures from her school and college days, Kusha recalled, “I first gained weight when I was 10. When I was in the 10th grade, my mom put me in a gym and I lost weight, eventually became the head girl of my school. I loved the attention and validation it brought me.”

However, Kusha’s transformation was short-lived. “In college, I started to gain that weight all over again. I didn’t really know what exactly is body image issues. Instead of working on my body, I started to work on my humour. This made me famous. My teachers also didn’t care to focus on my academics, they just loved to hear me talk. At 22, I gained a lot of weight again and after my friend sent me a picture of me and told me, ‘Kusha, what’s up?’ it changed me. In six months, I lost weight in the most unhealthy manner possible. I consumed less than 800 calories a day.”

She added, “By this time, body image issues were so rooted in me that I didn’t even know why I lost the weight in the first place. Was it for health reasons or for my need for validation. I kept skipping my meals, and got fevers that stayed for 12 days. Doctors said it might be TB. I got abdominal TB because of eating less. My immunity was compromised. I started to lose more weight as a symptom of TB and weirdly, I was happy about it. This is how body issues play with your mind.”

After this, Kusha landed her first job, and this time, she ignored her body to focus on her work as she loved the attention.

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“As I was nearing 30, I made it all about my work and started to ignore my body. I did try and eat healthy and try different diets and workouts, but I was not very consistent. I needed balance. I realised this time work has become my validation, once again I was in the validation trap,” she said. “I kept losing and gaining weight until I moved to Mumbai. I felt extremely lonely here and somewhere I also got adult acne. I did annual body check up, it only had red marks all over it. When I saw doctors, all they had to say is: ‘you will have to change your lifestyle.’ This motivated me to lose weight.”

She said that another reason why she lost weight is that she wants better acting roles. “I had acting dreams and because I was in a bigger body, I was getting all aunty characters whose age was between 45-50. I didn’t want to take up that role at 33. It made no sense to me. I was so lonely in Mumbai and there were so many speculations about my life that I took out all my bhadaas at the gym and worked out,” she said.

Kusha said, “Unlike at 13 and 23, this time I lost weight for myself. Some people even question me for losing weight saying, ‘You were all about body positivity.’ Body positivity doesn’t mean that you cannot want to be healthy or work out. It is about being kinder to all body types.” Without revealing her workout and diet regime, Kusha said, “Whatever I do with my body, I am not answerable to anyone but people are talking so much c*** that I had to speak about it.”

She concluded her video by saying, “There is no guarantee that I will not gain this weight again. I surely will do if I don’t continue to go to the gym at least 3-4 days a week. I have been in and out of too many bodies to take these comparisons and transformation videos seriously.” Previously, Kusha made headlines when she announced her divorce with Zorawar Ahluwalia in 2023.