Four ways parents can support their child going through board exam stress

Stress is not all bad, quite on the contrary, it increases productivity, drives action towards goals and improves focus. But beyond a certain level of stress, all of this stops and it creates the opposite effect. It can lead to reduced concentration, forgetfulness and negatively impacts efficiency.

Competition in the present time is very tough. When a son or daughter of the family does not score good marks in their board exam, people often assume callousness on the parent’s part or blame the child for not working hard. It’s no longer only their performance and capability, it has somehow come to represent the home environment. The additional societal expectations for high results and comparison with others, can take one into a deeper, dark hole.

The more you know, the better you will understand and handle your child with care.

Here are some ways parents can help a teen ease out the stress and pressure and more importantly to prevent a tragedy.

Know the Signs of Stress:

Cognitive

*Negative thoughts

*Difficulty in memorising and recall

*Difficulty in making decisions

*Confusion

*Lack of concentration

*Increase in self-doubt

*Forgetful

Emotional

*Irritable

*Over-burdened

*Anxious, nervous or afraid

*Moody and hypersensitive

*Anger

Behavioural

*Aggressive

*Snapping at people

*Biting nails, picking at skin

*Restless, like you can’t sit still

*Feeling tearful or crying

*Staying isolated

*Increased smoking, alcohol and drug use

*Self-harm

Physical

*Sleep disturbance

*Tired all the time

*Headaches

*Change in appetite

Reach Out

Be vigilant and observant to any changes in behaviour or signs mentioned above. If you notice your teen not looking and behaving like his/her normal self, sit and say, “You seem worried/withdrawn. Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help.” Wait for them to respond. Let them know you’re there for them. Reassure them. Encourage them.

Support & Care

Offer care, love and support unconditionally. Listen to understand them. If you feel your child is feeling pressured by you or a family member, remove the pressure, as their mental health and life is too precious for that.

Encourage study breaks

Parents and young teenagers tend to fixate on studying only during this time. But taking short breaks boosts concentration when they return to the studies at hand. So, encourage them to relax and incorporate breaks into their study schedule.

Stress can affect a person in so many ways, but when it affects daily functioning it’s an alarm that needs to be addressed immediately. The longer any person continues to experience high levels of stress, it will affect more areas of their life as well as their physical health. Exam stress is serious. A mental health professional can help your teen concentrate better, resolve any emotional burdens, with tools to keep him/her motivated and boost confidence. They could also guide you on what you should do to alleviate the distress that you or your young one is facing.

(Shubhika Singh is a senior consultant psychologist specialising in young adults; and the co-founder of Innerkraft.com based in Kolkata)

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