It can be challenging to put yourself out there, especially if you are shy or introverted, or if you have had negative experiences in the past (Source: Freepik)
Making friends can definitely feel difficult, depending on the circumstances, your personality, or the environment you are in. It can be challenging to put yourself out there, especially if you are shy or introverted, or if you have had negative experiences in the past. But, it is also something that most people struggle with at some point. The fear of rejection, changing temperaments of people and the lack of time to put in the effort, can make friendships tough to maintain sometimes. There are a few ways in which teens with social issues can build healthier relationships with their peers:
Be positive, not negative: While it is okay to share your struggles with people, if you are complaining all the time, and are generally negative about other people and life in general, then people get tired of the complaining and negativity. We have enough trouble in life without having friends who are negative all the time. That said, a good friend will always listen when you are in need, so do not take this as “never complain.” Instead, just generally try to be a positive person.
Be interested and a good listener: Be interested in other people. Do not make the mistake of only wanting to talk about your stuff, and being bored and unimpressed with what other people are doing. When someone wants to talk, listen. If they only talk about themselves all day and do not want to hear your stuff, then they probably are not going to be a great friend, but still give them a chance and be interested for as long as you can.
Tell good stories: No one wants to listen to someone who tells long boring stories. After the first two such stories, people generally start tuning you out. So try to keep your stories shorter, unless you can tell people are interested. Find something interesting to hook their curiosity, and then draw them in with that curiosity until you satisfy it with a good ending. Practice your storytelling when you meet people, and try to get better at it. It is not one of my strong points, to be honest, but I recognize that and am trying to be better.
Smile: I am not saying you should have a fake smile, but a smile puts you in a friendly mood, versus frowning at someone. Do not smile all the time, or at inappropriate times. Just generally have a smiling disposition, as it signals that you like the person.
Put yourself out there, be willing to try things. Try new food, new experiences, new ideas. This open-mindedness attracts others who are looking to get the most out of life.
Be calm, not overly dramatic: While it is great to have a lot of energy, people who are overly dramatic about little things can be a turn-off. So learn to react to most problems as if they are not a big deal, and handle them with calmness instead of overreacting.
Be authentic, do not try to show off: If there is a positive and negative version of you, generally choose the positive version. But most importantly, do not try to impress people all the time – if you are confident in yourself, you do not need to impress.
Be happy with yourself & confident: This is just something that is good to do for yourself. Be happy with who you are, even the flaws. If you are, you can be confident that you are good enough when you meet someone else. People generally do not respect someone who is constantly harsh on themselves. Start to see the good in yourself, the genuine heart and caring nature, and let that be the story you tell yourself about yourself.
We live in a dynamic would where things and people are forever evolving. Sometimes we make friends that may outgrow us and sometimes we may feel disconnected with them. Making friends and getting to know people is a lifetime experience. If you have one friend today, there is no certainly that they may be with you for life. Some friends will stay during your toughest time, they would be your true friends, it is important to acknowledge those friends, and appreciate them for who they are.
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