A month before my NEET was scheduled, a friend at my coaching institute in Kota began having recurrent dreams of sleepwalking to the ledge of the roof. He would stand there, trying to put his foot forward to feel the firmness of the ground, but all he could feel was a swoosh of air beneath. Scared and sweaty, he would begin screaming his lungs out, waking up the entire hostel in the middle of the night.
Most of us who have endured the two years away from our homes in those windowless hostels have felt trapped. Now that I hear news of three students succumbing to similar pressures, a sadness engulfs me, one that doesn’t lose its poignance despite its repetitiveness, perhaps because of having witnessed it up close.
Petitions, news articles, and debates seem eager to blame coaching institutes whenever such news surfaces. While there is an obvious exaggeration, I know from experience that coaching institutes are hostile places to live in. There is cut-throat competition, unsaid pressure to do better and better, and the all-consuming guilt of not doing enough. I distinctly remember the numbness resulting from the feeling of doing something wrong, whenever I considered even slightly deviating from the rigorous routine of those days.
But this is not to forget that coaching is a business, one that thrives on ranks, so much so that ranks often assume faces, sometimes becoming a person’s sole identity. Higher ranks for their students make for a better ranking for an institute which, in turn, leads to more students and more income. As the competition gets tougher, cut-offs rise, and the rapid increase of students attempting the exam is being noticed, an unreasonable amount of work is required to get into a medical college, let alone secure even a two-digit rank. Moreover, if institutes don’t encourage competition, they are blamed for being too liberal and lax about discipline. Even for aspirants, the benchmark for assessing an institute’s quality of education is the number of top rankers it produces.
The middle class’s fascination with doctors and engineers also contextualises the issue. In small towns, only a handful of schools offer humanities as an option. The consensus is that those who take it up are not bright enough to choose science or commerce and that they won’t have “successful” careers, leading to a “wasted” life. Many parents remain fixated on the idea of “stable” jobs.
Some parents are fascinated with the idea of having a “doctor” in the family. A batchmate from my medical school told me that his admission into the college elevated his parents’ stature in society. Others consider their children an extended version of themselves, often turning them into tools for fulfilling their repressed aspirations. Telling children how hard they have been working their whole lives for them, and how it’s now time for payback is a fairly common tool for emotional blackmail. Many students, believing that their parents know best, think that the path to a happy life goes through medicine.
While an obvious focus should be making children more resilient early on, it is equally important to practically understand the stressors one might face on entering the coaching journey.
This is also not to say that coaching institutes can go on as they do now. Feeding students sweeping statements such as, “the person sitting next to you is not your friend” breeds a deep sense of mistrust, which might exacerbate mental agony. In most cases, as in the case of the troubled friend mentioned above, a timely intervention by close friends can dissuade someone from taking the extreme step.
More often than not, segregation into batches based on ranks, and assigning teachers accordingly, makes students feel like they’re lacking. Institutes can work out a way to reduce stress and give students a boost whenever they perform well. Teachers need to be empathetic towards those who might be more sensitive to stress. A counsellor needs to be available at all times to keep a close check on the red flags.
Parents also need to understand their children’s potential. If a student has secured average marks in their academic life so far, it is unfair to believe that the magic wand of a coaching institute can make them do well suddenly. Societal pressures might blind even well-informed parents. It might be wise for parents to step back and observe their actions, and for children to communicate their emotions to the parents before it gets too late.
Schools need to offer career counselling that also allows students to interact with people who are doing well in out-of-the-box careers. Even coaching institutes need to have a system where students get to stay there for a month or so before deciding if they would want to spend the next two years there. The good thing is that many reputed teachers are joining online coaching platforms, offering students an option to study from the comfort of their homes.
I remember this motivational quote pasted in my classroom: “Diamonds have to endure tremendous stress to turn into one”. Such things might help one bear pressure, but all of us have our own, unique boiling points. Perhaps understanding that we can’t all be diamonds might be the most priceless thing. Each one of us has the right to live as an average, happy-go-lucky person.
The writer is a medical student and writer
