Whats Not to Love About Love?

Well,I was at Lodi Gardens in Delhi a few weeks ago and there was this besotted myna,all fluffed up,with the perfect spiky gelled crest,strutting around his girl,showing the hell off. Then suddenly,he knelt down before her and bowed his head and nodded several times and there was no need to translate myna talk to know what he was asking and promising (all baloney,of course). Right there,in the middle of Lodi Gardens,where the respectable and influential and spiritual come to be healthy. Tactfully,I withdrew from the scene and held my silence.

Parakeets,if anything,are worse. Perched on a wire or branch,the Lothario will eye his beloved sideways and sidle a couple of steps towards her,assessing her reaction all the while. When hes close enough,hell raise one claw towards her,exactly as if he were offering her a bouquet of roses his mother didnt let him bring along. If she doesnt show too much interest,hell flutter around to her other side and try the same thing from there. Shell roll her eyes at him and before you can say pretty Polly,theyll be smooching in a manner that would make the censors brandish power-saws like madmen. Other parakeets who may be watching this (and I once saw a group of four or five interested onlookers at one such session) are completely chilled out about it; in one case,the onlooker seemed more like a coach assessing the performance of his charges.

As for monkeys,tiny tots,barely separated from their moms,will try all kinds of hanky-panky with their contemporaries while the elders watching on benignly. They dont have to sneak off into dark corners to have a bit of fun or privacy. They dont need privacy,period.

Worse,much worse,the bullfrogs. A flash party of 250 golden bullfrogs gathered in a rainwater-filled ditch on the Delhi Ridge,one monsoon morning,going about like it was the Woodstock to end all Woodstocks. Raucous singing,mud-plopping,head-over-heels jumping,double-deckers,triple-deckers and much else. Even the pond herons and kingfishers stood back,stupefied and stunned.

Basically,animals and birds dont have a problem with public displays of affection. But us? We have ham-fisted cops hunting down hapless couples in parks,whose fingers might have accidentally interlocked. The girl is promptly branded a shameless hussy (and worse,by some chief ministers),the guy is beaten up. Both are booked and paraded as if they were perverts.

What is it that makes it so unbearable for us to see others being happy? Are we so venal and petty and completely pathetic? Why is it indecent,dirty,upsetting for our sentiments and sensibilities? Why is it not in our culture (even though baby billions are)?

Sure,those people whose fingers interlock and who gaze into each others eyes blind to the world,are sick,but in a way that can only make you cock a sardonic eyebrow,grin and give them the thumbs up. Enjoy it kids,while it lasts. Have a good day,life lies ahead.

And they certainly do not offend sentiments or sensibilities,unlike the rows of bare bottoms you see lining railway tracks every morning,or the sight of respectable-looking gentlemen taking a leak right in your path (even my dogs used to go to the nearest compost heap to do their thing) without turning a hair. We dont blink when we drive by dismembered victims of road accidents,or worse,those calling for help,but if its a couple getting cosy behind the bushes,thats another matter altogether. Thats skyfall time.

Because the only way we can be happy is by preventing other people from being happy. And even the birds and bees and fleas know better.

How on earth can anyone ever love us?