Tags:
Journalism of Courage
Book: Im Pregnant,Not Terminally Ill,You Idiot!
Author: Lalita Iyer
Publication: Manjul Publishing House
Prices: Rs 295
Pages: 266
Books on pregnancy have a limited audience: pregnant women. Maybe occasionally,a partner enthusiastic enough to research complicated stuff like epidurals and morning sickness. Nowadays,though,the internet provides most of the answers and you hardly need to plough through an entire book. Most to-be moms are reeling from too much information anyway. In Im Pregnant,Not Terminally Ill,You Idiot!author Lalita Iyer wisely steers clear of providing more health-based pregnancy tips. Instead,in breathless detail,she rues the other issues that accompany motherhood. No more drunken Saturday nights! Single friends fall by the wayside! Mood swings! No sex! Sleeplessness!
This is a memoir about the months before a life-altering event and how motherhood changes your life,career and general well-being. Iyers blog mommygolightly.com has some reflective essays on motherhood: Why Have Children? is one of them. But in her book,she seems determinedly superficial,never addressing the blinding terror every pregnant woman feels,the sleepless nights imagining genetic defects the baby might carry,or the prospect of dying in childbirth. Or the fear that with motherhood you may have closed all other options to be locked into a future with someone a lot longer than you anticipated. Though they are touched upon cursorily,never for a moment does it seem that Iyer had these contrary ideas floating in her head. Her worries are more basic,like getting together the right wardrobe for nine months and dealing with an anxious mother who wants to feed you foods to make you lactate. Theres a lot about negotiating with colleagues who range from deliriously happy for you,to awkward or downright insensitive. Iyer is absolutely delighted with pregnancy when she declares that procreation increases your net worth in the family. Theres everything right about being ecstatic about becoming a mom,but Im not so sure it translates into compelling reading.
The title suggests that Iyer has a casual,matter-of-fact attitude to pregnancy. But it turns out she is consumed by it,agonising over trivialities,even propogating dodgy research on prenatal influence. She suppresses the urge to use foul language because,What if the baby hears? I wrongly presumed the promisingly titled chapter Fertility Politics would be about gender equality at the workplace and the impact a pregnancy has on a career. Instead,Iyer whines that nobody gave me office gossip anymore or bitched people out to me. This is her big gripe. Cringe-worthy subheads like Pregnant Woman with eternal partyholic singleton and Pregnant woman with wanting-to-be-pregnant-but-not-able-to woman are surprising since Iyer has been on the other side,having gotten married at 38 and had a baby at 40. One would imagine she would have more perspective.
The chapter,The Sisterhood of the Wailing Mummies,is probably the best in the book. Iyer observes correctly,that new moms like to hang out with new moms. Sometimes to the exclusion of everyone else. Who else can understand the travails of looking after a shrieking infant better? Read Im Pregnant,Not Terminally Ill,You Idiot! for a lark,as long as you remember that focusing entirely on pregnancy and birth still doesnt prepare you for the arrival of the infant,which is when the real work begins.
Leher Kala
