Quiet Please

Today we live in an age I refer to as Information Diarrhoea where we use every possible method of communication to share our thoughts and feelings. Nothing is private,nothing withheld,and everything is a matter of public record. What you say or do is for all to see and to be remembered till eternity because someone out there is hitting the record button.

Sends a shiver down your spine? If we lived in times of war,we would be putting out incriminating information,voluntarily,that would allow complete strangers to blackmail us. In the war of words,we would be the ultimate loser. So has the information overload rendered us stupid?

Let8217;s look at texting or the Short Message Service. Everyone is composing one. And everyone is screwing up when they hit send. Go back to all the gossip pages over the years. Every single celebrity who has been caught with his or her pants down has been outed by SMS. Their mistresses have cleverly conspired to use their inability to keep texting under control and leaked the details to the paparazzi. Rachel Uchitel and Tiger Woods. Shane Warne and everyone. David Beckham and his PA. The list is endless. It seems there is a rule book that these young ladies share among themselves,one that gives them tips on how to inspire their lovers to send them revealing,sexual texts. But,seriously,how stupid is it to think that you would be immune to scandal,specially when you have declared your intentions in writing? None of which can be repeated in polite company. And none of which leaves any room for imagination. I mean,you can use a four-letter word or a five-letter one,but the definition of fornication remains much the same.

Then there is the internet format of texting aptly called Twitter. Your 140-character tweet has the ability to reduce you to a complete twit. Forget the inherent stupidity of this concept,I mean you need a hugely,rudely inflated ego to think that people really care about what you did every waking hour of your life. What makes it even more ridiculous is that people do care. I set up a Twitter account on a whim and,guess what,I had followers without me ever posting up a tweet. So imagine what happens if you really do tweet. At best,you can lose people8217;s interest. At worst,your job and your self-respect. Ask Mr Tharoor. Or me. From my two-month experience with Twitter,I can assure you that no one posts anything less than deeply personal. I know what people are eating,wearing,thinking. I even know what time they sleep and who they want to sleep with.

What happened to good old-fashioned common sense? Would you sign a blank cheque and leave it lying around? Would you leave your personal bank statement for all to see? So why is it considered okay to talk so much that people go out of their way to get you to shut up? And did we forget the cardinal rule of politeness? If you can8217;t say anything nice about someone,say nothing at all. I don8217;t think it exists so much for the benefit of others,I suspect the rule was made more to keep us out of trouble.

We all know by now that it isn8217;t safe to even say Hello to a stranger. Look what happened to poor Shoaib Malik when he picked up the phone. He ended up married to the wrong girl. And much as Sania Mirza drawled in her faux American accent that she was his intended,the first wife still had to be paid to shut up.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. Mr Tharoor and Ms Sunanda Pushkar tied the knot. Tiger Woods untied his and got a divorce. And Paris Hilton,Lindsay Lohan,Kim Kardashian and their wannabes and lookalikes continued to raise the decibel level. They went into jail and out of jail. Flirted with rehab and reality television. And continued to ignore the words of wisdom imparted by their arresting officers: whatever you say can be used against you in a court of law. If only they had been made aware of their rights from the start. The silence would have been deafening.

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The writer is editor-in-chief,Elle