A Fine Balance

Males,of course,have devised various ways of wooing the ladies. Among the most pragmatic of the lot is the weaver bird or baya. Bayas nest in colonies,often along water courses and are renowned for the beautiful vase-like nests they weave out of grass. A colony of bayas will arrive at a prospective site and proceed to build. Great care is taken in the construction of the nest,quarrels break out as building material is filched from neighbours and the developing colony is a hive of shrill and excited activity. At last,the champion architects are done and it’s time to wait for the “fishing fleet” to arrive. Sororities of scouting females will chance upon this colony and excitement levels will reach fever pitch. Each resplendent male,with his golden headlamp head and chocolate-streaked body,will flurry his wings into a blur and launch his sales pitch: “Central air-conditioning,jacuzzi,lakeside view,snake-proof entrance,genuine khas grass,gold-plated plumbing,modular kitchen”,in the hope of selling his dream house to his dream girl.

The dream girl in question will,in all probability,have a sardonic look-see,check out the construction and interiors and shrug her delicate shoulders and screw up her nose: “But there are no His and Hers’ sinks in the bathroom and the flush doesn’t work.” And off she’ll go. The poor male is left devastated. Like all good adult-children,he will promptly throw a tantrum and start disemboweling his nest in frustration and rage.

But if the lovely lady likes what she sees she’ll sit on the “chinstrap” of the nest (the near-equivalent of the rocking chair on the front verandah),and the ecstatic male will lose no time in sealing the nuptials and ensuring that they are now a couple. The lady immediately starts off on the interior decoration and then lays her eggs and pacifically waits for her family to hatch.

With her safely ensconced within,the male,puffed up like a hedge-fund hustler,will start off building a second nest in order to seduce that other sweet little thing he’s been eyeing. If he has charisma and charm and architectural talent,a hardworking male can provide several females with comfortable homes,rather in the manner of a serial billionaire bigamist — except that all his wives reside in the same colony,presumably unaware of the perfidy that’s going on. The gent is,therefore,able to pass on his knockout genes to the maximum extent he can.

“What a two-timing cad,” you’d be tempted to say,“what a typical male chauvinistic pig!” Ah,but nature has a wonderful way of redressing the balance as it were. There is,for example,another waterside dwelling bird (no relation of the weaver) called the Painted Snipe,where the female is the one who is decked out in kathakali finery — in bottle green,maroon,black and cream. The male is a wishy-washy fellow by comparison. Well,Madame Snipe will seduce a husband,lay her eggs on a pad near the water that he has built,sweet-talk him into sitting on the eggs and looking after the chicks when they hatch,and set off man-hunting once more. These viragos will fight ferociously over the pale etiolated males they think will make the best stay-at home dads for their broods.

But as always,there’s a reason for this. For some reason,there are many more male than female Painted Snipes around,so it makes sense for the ladies to take on multiple husbands — and so spread their genes far and wide. The males too are now gainfully employed (instead of gossiping and drinking),so what’s the hassle?

As for us,with our skewed sex ratio,the writing’s on the wall isn’t it?

Ranjit Lal is an author,environmentalist and bird watcher. In this column,he reflects on the eccentricities and absurdities of nature