Wealth Monitor

2. YOUR FAVOURITE VACATION:

A You are the biggest shareholder of a Rs 25,000 crore company like Anil Ambani, you fly family and friends to a favourite destination like the Bahamas, hire a 300’ luxury yacht which has half a dozen guest rooms, pool, interiors by Ralph Lauren, a 25 member crew led by an experienced skipper. Other favourite cruise hotspots are the Nile, Caribbean, Seychelles. Apart from safaris in Zulu land or Kenya.Pilgrim tours are also a hot favourite but you do a parikrama of Kailash Mansarovarin a helicopter instead of walking for three days or crash into the sanctumof Tirupati and get a personal puja like Amitabh Bachchan got on his 60th birthday.
B Fed up with Monte Carlo and St Tropez, what with package tour public (your own executives and wives)descending in buses, you desperately seek out unique destinations and holiday activities like wine, food or culture tours. They include, apart from golf holidays in Hawaii and Cape Town or wine and food tasting in Bordeaux, attempts at hot-airballooning over Tuscany or truffle hunting in the same region. Perfect moments gazing at frescos in a 12th century abbey or sipping a glass of cold wine ina renaissance square.
C A six-day, five-nightpackage in Goa or Cochin in a five-star hotel as a perk from the company. Ora 11-day, 22-town whirlwind package tour of Europe for the whole family whereyou sleep in the bus as it crosses now forgotten borders. Or cruise on a liner to Alaska or Jamaica. You enjoy the benefits of monthly installment schemesand thoughtful amenities like Indian food on board.

3. YOU NORMALLY TRAVEL IN:

A Your private Gulfstream or Lear jet to reach the harbour off the Amalfi coast to take your Hargrave custom yacht. Fellow jet-setters include the Ambanis, Nusli Wadia, Vijay Mallya, PRS (Biki) Oberoi.
B While your boss fliesin his personal jet, you have spent most of your life in airport lounges, working on your laptop or reading airport bestsellers. And despite the fact you cannow shave and shower in your First or Club Class lounge, and even stretch fullyin the sleeper in your aircraft cabin, your mind is numb and you ache for freshair. The only advantage of spending half your life in a jumbo jet is mileagemiles. You have clocked enough miles to celebrate your wedding anniversary inPhuket or Bali.
C You normally travel as much as the above but you are adept at squeezing your legs, a laptop and read at the same time at the back of the plane. You quaff orange juice and knockback pre-plated, reheated airline food without a complaint, not even sparingthe mint which rounds off your meal. It seems airline food was designed with you in mind. You are also in the high-risk group for deep-vein thrombosis or economy class syndrome where cramped seats can lead to blood clotting but youcouldn’t care.

4. CELEBRATIONS ARE A BIG DEAL BECAUSE:

A You are as famous as Bachchan, therefore, newspapers bring out lavish supplements on your birthday and television crews broadcast the party live. You can also charter a jet to party in a palace in Udaipur or hire a cricket ground to accommodate your 1500guests. You build mock palaces and thermocol forts, food and flowers are flownin from Bangkok and Amsterdam, and Shah Rukh Khan and Shilpa Shetty thrust their pelvis at your guests. All gifts pale in front of your wife’s bestowment: an embarrassing biography (the lilting prose has not been able to hide her bitterness over your Japanese mistress and the fact that she had to bring up the children almost alone). You often dream of burning the whole edition in a bonfire.

B Five-star hotels give you bonus points to spend an anniversary weekend in the backwaters of Kerala,mileage miles allow you free passage to Singapore. Birthday parties at home dissolve in your expense account as champagne is uncorked, caterers serve Thaiand Italian food, and cigars passed around after dinner. Gifts from spouse include an expensive, lavish coffee table book on Benares or Rajasthan miniatures.
C Dinner at the cheerful, neighbourhood all-American Tex-Mex restaurant or a buffet lunch at a five-starcoffee shop which has a train of Indian, Italian, Mexican and Chinese cuisine. Gift the best-seller of the week.

5. YOUR BEAUTY REGIMEN IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT:

A An annual trip to one of La Prairie’s spas or clinics in Europe for a caviar firming treatmentwhich transforms the dullest skin into a radiant, luminous sheen. Then the cellular lipo-sculpting treatment to lift a tired, slackened body and of course, the revitalising benefits of cellular cycle ampoules for the face.
B Picking up lotions and potions of high-end Swiss and French cosmetic products from the ground floor of major department stores in London, Paris or New York. Also a free makeover while you listen patiently to shop-girl advice.
C Going to the nearest local beauty parlour for a weekly face massage with coconut oil, bleaching the skin every fortnight and putting mehndi in the hair.

6. BANKING IS EASY BECAUSE:

A With a personal fortune of over Rs 100 crore, banks now offer ‘personal banking’ which assuresthe best management of your assets. The personal banker abroad has also now made life easier for you — you don’t have to make that unnecessary detour to Zurich or Channel Islands, instead, he can arrange funds for you anywhere in the world and all it requires is a local call to your banker at home.
B You also get the benefits of asset management and moving money around without standing in front of a telleras a perk from your boss. Banks also do you this favour out of gratis becauseof the business it does with your company.
C There is piped music in multi-national banks, the teller is not somebody who studiously ignores you. Instead, the executive (read clerk) behind the desk of these shiny, new banks may take the same time to pass the cheque but at least he is smiling through his gritted teeth.

7. CARS ARE AN EXTENSION OF YOUR PERSONALITY BECAUSE:

A The fleet includes a sleek Porsche 911, two Bentley’s, several Mercedes etc and you drive the fastest car in the dead of night to feel the speed (like Anil Ambani), or you have a custom-built, handmade Caterham, a sporty car (like Vijay Mallya’s) or the flashy Lexus LS43, a top-end luxury car like Gautam Singhania.
B You prefer the more soberE-Type Mercedes Benz or the Hyundai Sonata or a leather-upholstered Honda Accord.

C There is no way you are going to drive an expensive car on Indian roads so you opt for a Baleno, HondaCity, Tata Safari, Lancer, Opel Astra and the dozen others that crowd the market.

8. THE TAXMAN IS A FRIEND BECAUSE:

A You don’t pay taxes and enjoy a hassle-free, tax-free life as you became an NRI.
B You’ve just been nominated a Samaan awardee for paying taxes on your legit income.
C You’ve got Rs 12,000 reimbursed after you submitted your papers to your office accountant on your investments in the Public Provident Fund.

9.your retirement plan is:

A Planning the succession of your son or daughter on the Board of Directors.
B Negotiating a perfect golden parachute for the hard times.
C Ensuring a modest monthly pension with returns for astute investments.

10. YOUR FAV- OURITE ACCE-SSORIES ARE:

A Franck Muller watch; or the ladie’s Muller ‘heart’ watch in white gold; YSL’s Bone Bag.
B Rolex watch; a Fendi Baguette and Manolo Blahnik shoes (the last you love because you got it at a great summersale).
C Titan watch from its
jewellry collection; Jolly shoes and bag, local silk scarves.

11. YOU APPEAR IN THE PAGES OF:

A Vogue.
B Tattler.
C Verve/Page Three.

12. YOU CELEBRATE DIWALI with:

A Puja at the house and dinner with family and friends.
B Puja at the house and dinner with family and friends.
C Puja at the house and dinner with family and friends.

ANSWERS: If most of your answers fit into Category A, you don’t have to be told where you belong. If itis in Category B, you are getting there. If you are in Category C, it’s time to find a new job. HAPPY DIWALI!