4 min readDelhiOct 25, 2025 06:30 PM IST
First published on: Oct 25, 2025 at 06:30 PM IST
Drawing personal and professional boundaries is paramount, especially when two people are in the same profession. This is something actor Karan Singh Grover highlighted in an interview, stating that his wife, Bipasha Basu, doesn’t prefer working with him as she “can’t handle” him at work.
“I am not intimidated; she just doesn’t want to work with me. She says I can’t handle you at work, also. I don’t blame her, I am a lot to handle. I get very emotional, very moody, all the things you don’t want,” the actor told Galatta India. Adding, he said, “She is like, ‘At work, I want to be at peace and concentrate on myself. If you’ll be there, I will keep focusing on you; I don’t want that. I need to do my own thing.’ She is not going to change her mind. I am still a pain.”
But is this considered healthy for a couple? It all boils down to drawing healthy boundaries, suggested relationship expert and behaviour strategist Vivek Vashist.
Boundaries work only when both partners share clarity on what they are building together. Vashist explained, “Until that understanding exists, no amount of rules or schedules will hold. Boundaries aren’t about separating time; they are about recognising meaning. Once each person understands the importance of their goals—both personal and shared—the act of setting limits becomes natural, rather than forced.”
He said that it begins with self-boundaries, “how much emotional energy one can give without losing inner rhythm. Boundaries fail when they are mechanical, succeed when they are mindful. They are less about ‘no work talk after 8 PM’ and more about noticing when the relationship stops feeling like a relationship and starts feeling like a meeting. When that awareness grows, boundaries arise quietly, without the need for enforcement.”
Is working together healthy?
Working together does not create new patterns; it exposes the ones already there, Vashist added. “The workplace becomes an amplifier—turning subtle dynamics into visible ones. A partner who tends to control may do so under the name of efficiency. A partner who seeks safety may confuse dependence for closeness. Many couples find work to be the easiest way to stay connected, because it provides a shared vision without emotional vulnerability.”
It feels like togetherness, but often it is avoidance, wearing a professional mask, elaborated Vashist. “The challenge is not in collaboration but in switching identities. The same person cannot be your co-founder and your emotional home without conscious effort. When the lines blur, love starts performing, and authenticity quietly exits. Real connection needs moments that are not about progress, but presence.”
Balancing emotional intensity
As Karan revealed how his mood swings can be daunting at times for his wife, couples need to balance emotional intensity.
Vashist explained, “One partner may experience an event as deeply significant, while the other treats it as minor. The gap is not emotional weakness—it is a difference in interpretation. That gap breeds misunderstanding and, at times, accusations of being dismissed or gaslighted. When one partner’s moods fluctuate sharply, the other begins to stabilise instead of participating, carrying the emotional weight of both. Over time, authenticity fades, replaced by management.”
The relationship becomes a cycle of reaction rather than understanding. The way out is compassion directed inward first—an ability to witness one’s own emotions without transferring their charge onto the other. When each partner can hold their feelings without demanding symmetry, balance returns. “Compassion for oneself becomes compassion for the other, and power becomes shared instead of traded,” he concluded.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. Always consult your health practitioner before starting any routine
Karan Singh Grover on why wife Bipasha doesn't want to work with him. (Instagram/iamksgofficial) 
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