The hunt for Mr Clean

Vajpayee was patience personified. He said: 8220;Pramod is busy carrying my letters to ministers, giving them ten minutes to quit and threatening them with dire consequences. He is fully preoccupied with police interrogations concerning various FIRs and is appearing in the despicable public interest litigation cases filed by sacked ministers under the names of presumed followers, and8230;8221;

And Jaswant, whose special plane had returned a few minutes back from Chennai, is preparing frantically to fly back in a few minutes, I gathered. 8220;What can I do for you, Mahodayji,8221; I asked. 8220;Can8217;t you guess it,8221; Atalji asked with an unwonted touch of irritation.

8220;You want a man,8221; I said. 8220;Or a woman8230;8221; Iventured.

8220;Woman!8221; screamed Vajpayee, that epitome of grace and dignity, forgetting the ancient Indian tradition of courtesy and his trying decades in the thick of parliamentary debate.

I apologised profusely and corrected myself hastily. 8220;You want a man who has not a single case against him,8221; I predicted. 8220;A man with an impeccable record. With not even an iota of a baseless allegation against him.8221; 8220;Right,8221; Vajpayee said. 8220;A man as clean as the unborn foetus of a legitimate marriage.8221;

I asked Jayalalitha if she could spare such a man from the millions of her dedicated followers. 8220;The minimum,8221; she said matter-of-factly, 8220;is ten cases each. Almost as bad as clean.8221;

Hegde said the political animal is a queer breed. 8220;Cases, allegations, crime form his staple diet. Better to go in for another election and make it absolutely clear in the National Manifesto of the alliance that no minister will be sacked until sentenced to be hanged by the Supreme Court according to the tenets of the law,8221;he proclaimed.

So I did what hardened criminals with no hope left do. I approached the eminent lawyer, Ram Jethmalani. He needed no explanations. He got hold of the problem by the scruff of its neck, just as if it were Jayalalitha. 8220;All that the PM wants now is for Jaya to keep her trap shut,8221; he said. 8220;And all that Jaya wants, at the moment at least, is a not-guilty verdict in all the cases fomented against her by Karunanidhi.8221;

8220;Right,8221; I said and waited with bated breath for Jethmalani8217;s panacea for the national crisis.

8220;Jaya should appoint me as her counsel-in-chief in all the cases,8221; said the legal luminary. I couldn8217;t believe my ears.

Said Jethmalani: 8220;I have no objection to associating myself with Jaya in a strictly professional capacity. After all, everyone must get the best legal defence.8221; Then he added as an afterthought of little consequence: 8220;In the interests of true justice.8221;

Still sceptical, I said: 8220;Do you really mean8230;8221; He cut me short curtly and said: 8220;For a fee.Naturally.8221; Then he explained: 8220;The legitimate professional fees from the successful defence of a notorious criminal are much higher and safer than any suitcase offerings you might manage while serving the people of this great nation.8221;

But I didn8217;t swallow the bait. I told Vajpayeeji: 8220;Constitute a new Ministry of Legal and Constitutional Defence of the Council of Ministers and Alliance Leaders. And allot the portfolio to honourable Ram Jethmalani.8221;