That feeling of being let down

Namrata Sharma Zakaria on the Lakme Fashion Week8217;s chief talking point

My grandmother has been suffering from a wardrobe malfunction ever since I can remember. Her tiny bosom I know this because I pilfered black lace bras from her drawer at 17 would never let the crepe de Chine pallu rest on it. Mummyji8217;s mostly-fallen veil was her signature among Bombay Punjabis.

When my grandfather was president of the Punjab Association here, Amitabh Bachchan was once invited as chief guest for a Baisakhi function. We still have a B038;W of him with my grandparents 8212; Mummyji8217;s Benarasi off, as usual. Though her slips caused giggles among my bhuas and chachis, a wardrobe malfunction is serious business these days. It makes it to Page One of most dailies. And rightly so, or else the just-concluded Lakme Fashion Week would have been relegated to the society pages. Only poor Carol Gracias had to pay for it. At the Week, I was often asked why the media went into overdrive about an 8216;accidental exposure8217;. But exposing people is the media8217;s game. I think we didn8217;t do enough. Everyone spoke about the 8216;whos8217; of it, not the 8216;whys8217; and 8216;hows8217;. Gracias8217;s picture was everywhere, with cheesy captions like 8216;Goodness Grace-ious8217;, but no one attempted to pull up the negligent designer.

In these times of item numbers, an exposed nipple or Gauhar Khan8217;s posterior the next day doesn8217;t shock urban sensibilities anymore. But poor workmanship should8217;ve got the fashion press vexed as hell. Why weren8217;t the two shoddy designers pulled up by the organisers, I asked them. They just shrugged with an 8216;It happens everywhere8217;. It sure does, but someone8217;s always made to apologise. In February 2004, when the 8216;Jackson moment8217; at the Super Bowl sent the world media into a frenzy, CBS was made to issue a public apology and pay a fine to New York8217;s Federal Communications Commission. Later that year, actress Tara Reid8217;s dress slipped and the paparazzi got a glimpse of what they instantly termed poor plastic surgery at P Diddy8217;s party. It finished her career almost instantly.

I doubt there will be an inquiry 8212; fashion week-makers are cunning enough to know that bad publicity is good too. I wouldn8217;t be surprised if Delhi8217;s competing week sheds some as well.

If the government doesn8217;t have a problem with indecent exposure, neither do I. What jarrs the senses is a more serious sort of wardrobe malfunction 8212;there8217;s nothing more vulgar than a badly dressed person. Many of our self-appointed socialites need to be arrested for gaudy garbs. There were far more wardrobe malfunctions off the runway, than on it. Right from the Dubai raised diva who wore postbox red Roberto Cavalli pedal-pushers and a leopard-print halter to the grooming trainer who8217;s black fitted cocktail dress did shameful things for bulges. Or the shirt-maker8217;s wife whose clothes are so hideous, I could almost beg her husband to put her in a pinstripe.

But I don8217;t mean to be rude. I suffer from a wardrobe malfunction every single day too in the family, remember.