Sacred threads

Today is 8216;Kaaradayan Nombu8217;, the Karva Chauth of TN and Kerala, which falls in February-March in the Malayali month of Kumbhom/Mee...

Today is 8216;Kaaradayan Nombu8217;, the Karva Chauth of TN and Kerala, which falls in February-March in the Malayali month of Kumbhom/Meenom aka Masi/Panguni in TN. Married women are meant to fast and pray for their husbands8217; longevity and single women are supposed to supplicate God for a 8220;good husband8221;. A cotton thread dyed in auspicious turmeric is worn like a mangalsutra. The prasad is the Nombu Adai, a strange, delicious steamed blob of rice powder, jaggery, lobia black-eyed beans, coconut bits and elaichi, eaten with white butter.

Today the ritual annoys many modern daughters-in-law who obviously wish their husbands well and want them around. But surely, cry many, it need not be an instrument of terror in the hands of ritual-crazy old ladies? And can8217;t the men participate, to contemporise the idea? Most curious is the old myth beneath the denunciations on either side of the generation gap: 8216;Savitri and Satyavan8217;, reversed in Greek myth by Orpheus and Eurydice. In the Yavana tale, it8217;s the man, Orpheus, who ventures into the Underworld to retrieve his dead wife. Alas, he blows it by turning back while still in the Underworld to check if she8217;s following and loses her forever.

Our Savitri gets her man by sheer will, in life and death. A rich princess, she wilfully chooses to marry Satyavan, a prince in dire straits. His father8217;s been gypped of his kingdom and gone blind with weeping, so Satyavan tends his old parents in the jungle and chops wood for a living. Knowing all this, Savitri wants him badly enough to insist on marrying him, despite her parents8217; protests and Narada Muni8217;s prediction that Satyavan is marked for early death. But Savitri is hellbent on justifying her choice. She fasts and meditates to purify her senses to pick up the atmospheric cues. Sure enough, when Yama comes by on his buffalo and nooses away Satyavan8217;s soul, Savitri is primed to sense him, follow him and even engage in backchat. Fed up with her pursuit, Yama offers her a boon. She asks that her father-in-law should see his grandsons being fed with golden spoons. This implies that Yama should restore his sight, his kingdom and his son8217;s life, since widows could not remarry in the bad old days.

My sentimental Indian instinct is to celebrate this as the 8220;triumph of love8221;. But look deeper. How could someone as strong-willed as Savitri go back to her parents and face a lifetime of 8220;I told you so8221;? I see this tale as one of nerve, endurance and cool resolve, like how Bjorn Borg played tennis. Who knows if Satyavan, who sounds quite gormless, was worth it after all? But Savitri8217;s force of will is awesome, working the system to her advantage and not losing face despite her disastrous choice.