Mwah Mwah Mia

Cousins DJ and VJ Bore-aura are all aflutter. They8217;re having a joint fashion show tomorrow and it8217;s not easy, you know, being desi...

Cousins DJ and VJ Bore-aura are all aflutter. They8217;re having a joint fashion show tomorrow and it8217;s not easy, you know, being designers in this country where nobody understands fashion, everybody is an enemy, people slam you if you show over-the-top clothing on the ramp, and they slam you just as harshly if you don8217;t.

8216;8216;What to do, daahling?8217;8217; squeals VJ in his high-pitched voice. 8216;8216;That stupid store-owner told me the other day that I have threads hanging from the hemlines of my clothes. That wasn8217;t a mistake. My silhouettes are so deconstructed that the frayed and fluted edges give the clothing a hippie-meets-dippy, deluxe-meets-big-bucks look.8217;8217; VJ doesn8217;t have a clue what that last sentence means, but it sounds important and so designer-like. He8217;s a country bumpkin who8217;s wormed his way into the with-it crowd because cousin DJ is a popular guy and though everyone thinks VJ bhaiyya8217;s a bhaisaab they8217;d rather not let him know. Actually, nobody buys VJ8217;s clothes. The story is that his rich daddy one day got tired of his son8217;s sponging ways and said, 8216;8216;Beta, kuch kar dikha. DJ ki tarah akhbaar mein photo chhapwake dikha. Son, do something with your life. Get your photograph published in the paper like DJ .8217;8217; And voila, he became a designer!

It wasn8217;t hard to start with. He would buy clothes from Sarojini Nagar and stock them in his studio got to have a studio! with a new label stitched on by his assistant got to have an assistant!. These would hang merrily on racks alongside designs he8217;d copied from the local Bhog magazine. A few friends got to have friends! bought his clothes. And so, VJ borrowed money from daddy and graduated to picking up clothes from Hongkong, and lifting ideas from the international Vogue magazine.

But that Manmohan Singh! Because of him, everyone is now travelling to Hongkong and reading Vogue, and everyone knows VJ8217;s secret. Now daddy insists he should actually design and 8230; It8217;s so unfair.

Cousin DJ really can8217;t stand VJ. But his dad squandered all the family money in gambling, everyone thinks Cousin DJ8217;s a talented designer and uncle8217;s been generously investing since Cousin DJ starting introducing VJ a fifth cousin really, but that8217;s a secret to all the journalists in town.

8216;8216;I have a fitting with my models this evening,8217;8217; says DJ. 8216;8216;But we must find time to go to Varun8217;s? He8217;s having a party for Vineet, have you heard?8217;8217; VJ suspects that Varun doesn8217;t like him but he knows there will be journalists present at the party so it makes sense to go along. Rule 1 of being a designer: if your clothes don8217;t sell, make sure you get photographed at the right parties. Rule 2: if your clothes don8217;t sell, get a new hairstyle and work your biceps up at the gym.

A few hours later, VJ has had an afternoon siesta, pumped iron at the gym, and visited a store opening where a photographer clicked his picture. A day well spent, he thinks. Meanwhile, Cousin DJ has completed some sketches, had a meeting with some buyers, and finished his fittings session with the models in preparation for tomorrow8217;s show. A day well-spent, he thinks.

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That evening at Varun8217;s, VJ is looking enviously at Cousin DJ8217;s jeans, torn so stylishly at the crotch. 8216;8216;Must get myself one,8217;8217; he says. Then VJ sees a photographer through the corner of his eye, starts to smooch the nearest guy clean on the lips. And as a bunch of photographers gathers, he says in disgust: 8216;8216;Gosh, these paparazzi! Don8217;t they know I don8217;t want to be on Page 3? I8217;m a serious designer you know.8217;8217;