Kitchen Combat

The standard green-and-white striped McDonald8217;s uniform I8217;m wearing, however, reminds me that not all my culinary talents are disastrous. True, my lack of skill with the dustpan-like bartan used to fill french fries into their paper containers has left small servings slightly smaller. And yes, whoever8217;s eating the McCurry pan may not have the easiest time gathering all of it together.

I would comfort myself with my success at making the perfect Crispy Chinese burger if I could claim skill went into it. But after working for two hours in the kitchens of the world8217;s largest fast food chain, I have realised that the art of fast food iconised by Ronald McDonald is more a mathematical art than anything else. A timer begins flashing the moment you place a burger8217;s insides to fry in the oil vats. Forty five seconds is standard time for everything except the grilled McChicken which is given 190 seconds. And before the digital screen screams 8216;pull out,8217; a buzzer goes off to tell you to heat the buns. When you8217;re waiting in front of the counter, you don8217;t see that it8217;s only a race against time that allows your wrapped and finished burger to stare you in the face less than a minute after you order it.

The storerooms are a foodie8217;s dream8212;if you enjoy cooking, there8217;s so much you can do with them. Boxes of Fish Fillet and Maharaja Mac patties piled high when you open doors and stand in cloud land. Fridges that stock cold premixes of mushroom and baby corn, broccoli and mayonnaise for the curry dishes8230; For those who didn8217;t know, each burger has a lifespan of 10 minutes. So you needn8217;t worry about your food catching fungal diseases. Quality control measures send sitting ducks straight into the bin. It8217;s all determined by the clock ticking away in the centre. Upender8212;popularly known as 8216;PC8217; or production caller8212;who8217;s busy yelling orders, also simultaneously calls a silent countdown using metal markers of 8216;seven, six, five8230;8217; to mark the demise of the aged.

Incidentally, anybody working in the kitchens needs to wash their hands every hour.

The state-of-art technology may leave you thinking it8217;s a piece of cake. But wait till you get behind the counter. At Janpath, where office crowd and shoppers alike are looking to be told what they8217;d actually like to eat, the counter is where the real marketing lies8212;in the art of subtlety. In blowing words like 8216;extra cheese,8217; 8216;chocolate-coated,8217; 8216;large coke8217; and 8216;a little mayo8217; in the direction of the hungry or those with change jiggling in their pockets.

Short-changing a few customers can be excused, if you take into account the speed of orders pouring in. It takes experience to push the right buttons for economeals and combos, but the fun bit is the cash counter.

Press 8216;order8217; and the cash drawer shoots out8212;and then you hurry, while trying to take in the next order, cramming the 100 rupee notes into the 10 buck slot in the process. The exhilaration doesn8217;t come from how much money you can get in, but from how you manage to up sales just that little bit. Like the college student who asked for a Chicken

McGrill and walked off with a medium coke, large fries and extra cheese. It also comes when all of a sudden the team roars 8216;Well done8217;8212;a morale booster for the 15-odd youngsters running an outlet of the world-famous chain for an hourly wage of Rs 22.