It8217;s the judges, stupid

It8217;s a viral epidemic. No one 8212; not the anchor, not the contestants and above all, never ever the judges 8212; stop talking, acting, crying long enough for anyone to enjoy the performances. Last week on Dhoom Macha De NDTV Imagine the cosy threesome of 8216;experts8217; Sharmila Tagore, Prasoon Joshi and Shankar Mahadevan, who expend voluminous time agreeing with one another, were confronted by Babul Supriyo 8212; he, in the danger zone of elimination. What did he do? Did he immediately grab the microphone and sing his heart out to eliminate elimination? No. He grabbed the mike and spat out, 8220;I quit8221; what 8212; smoking, scowling, singing? 8220;I won8217;t sing for the masses, I am not part of the competition8221;.

A litany of complaints, none of which deserves repetition, stunned the experts; even host Malaika Arora8217;s plaster of Paris composure, visibly cracked. Next thing we knew, the experts/ judges were commiserating with him as if he8217;d sustained a bereavement. 8220;I can8217;t sing here,8221; he declaimed in a dramatic fashion.

La Tagore swept onto stage with a regal air that said, 8220;nonsense, of course you can8221;; Babul fell to one knee 8212; oh God, now what? She blessed him and the knight rose to the occasion. Zap to his fellow contestants who looked as if they wish he would keep his word and just 8216;quit8217;. Instead, he did precisely what he told us he wouldn8217;t 8212; sing 8212; and to no one8217;s great surprise, he remained in the contest. Moral of the story? Tantrums beat talent.

Two other elimination programmes 8212; Mr 038; Ms TV Sony and Family Rock 8216;n Roll Zee. On the first, leading actors of television soaps which have seen better days even Tulsi and Parvati are hosting a reality show now perform for Sonali Bendre and Madhur Bhandarkar. They come in twos 8212; a man and a woman 8212; and do as they8217;re told. Last week, it was rub-a-dub-dub: one couple got to dub a romantic scene from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. They played SRK and Karan Johar. Sonali was taken aback 8212; 8220;a little personal8221; 8212; but Madhur enjoyed the naughtiness so did we. There followed a five-minute duet as the judges complimented each other8217;s opinions, passed strictures on each other8217;s preferences and admired each other, sorry, each other8217;s sensitivity. Then, they returned their attention to the poor performers.

There ensued a lengthy conversation between the performers who explained what they were trying to do and the judges telling them that 8220;next time you can do much better8221;. Zap to shots of fellow contestants with encouraging smiles but envy in their hearts.

Rock and Roll sees Tanuja, Ajay Devgan and Kajol as judges why? with three-generation families prancing in what they call a dance number but we call making fools of themselves. Winsome fools, but fools nevertheless. As they hug, kiss and behave as though they8217;re meeting at airport Arrivals after a long separation, it8217;s the judges turn to perform:

Tanuja wiping tears: Today, you danced very well.

Kajol wiping her hands on her beautiful hair: Today, you danced very well.

Ajay wiping the seat of his pants on the chair: Today, you danced very, very well he gets an extra 8216;bahut8217; 8216;coz he8217;s the man in the family. The contestants hug each other again and Chintu, Mintoo or whatever look bahut, bahut happy. We then hear of how Chintu danced before he could walk, his dadi sang before she could speak and dada8230;Next.

shailaja.bajpaiexpressindia.com