I am no bard, but anyway…

All that halla and gulla over the National Anthem (completely in character with the thin skins that come with the territory), has caused me to rework the Jana Mana Gana to make it more inclusive and sensitive, even while retaining its highly patriotic patina. So here goes…

JANA GANA MANA
Jana Gana Mana
Adhinayaka jaya hey,
Bharata bhagyavidhata.
Panjaba, Sindh, Gujarata, Maratha,
Tamil Nad, Keral, Karnatak, Andhra,
Rajasthana, Jharkhanda, Telengana,
Vidarbha, Chhattisgarh, Utkala, Banga.
Tiruchi, Rohtak, Coimbatore, Bareilly,
Mysore, Meerut, Ranchi, Warangal, Dilli.
Vijayawada, Aligarh, Kollam, Lucknow, Indore,
Kolkata, Bikaner, Mangalore, Bangalore.
Shimoga, Kharagpur, Udaipur, Ahmedabad,
Srinagar, Panjim, Shimla, Aurangabad.
Jabalpur, Bathinda, Guwahati, Moradabad, Patna,
Palampur, Imphal, Gwalior, Bhagalpur, Kohima.
Jamnagar, Panipat, Chennai, Allepey, Faizabad,
Chiplun, Amritsar, Kochi, Sonepat, Hyderabad.
Rajkot, Kochi, Asansol, Cuttack, Mhow, Jodhpur,
Shillong, Port Blair, Kolkata, Hyderabad, Udaipur.
Chandigarh, Mumbai, Bhopal, Dhule, Cuddalore,
Jehanabad, Gwalior, Vizag, Madurai, Nellore.
Vindhya, Himachala, Yamuna, Ganga,
Cauvery, Brahmaputra, Tapti, Narmada,
Godavari, Beas, Payaswani, Ravi
Bhima, Sutlej, Krishna, Kosi.
Uchchala jaladhi taranga.
Tava shubha naamey jaagey,
Tava shubha aashis maagey,
Gahe tava jayagatha.
Jana gana mangaladhayk jaya hey,
Bharat bhagyavidhata.
Jaya hey, Jaya hey, Jaya hey,
Jaya, Jaya, Jaya, Jaya hey!

I’ve timed this song and it takes approximately 20 minutes more to render than the original. We just need to take an extra deep breath before we come to that string of cities but if it is for greater national integrity, so be it. If we start practicing to sing it from today, we may well have it memorised by Republic Day. Okay, there may be some folks in Govandi or Basvangudi, Malabar Hill or Maharani Bagh — or the estimated 6,38,365 villages of this land, who may still feel kind of left out. I mean, I’ve tried my best to be all-encompassing but, hey, there are over one billion of us. One Indian or the other is bound to feel neglected by the National Anthem. To him/ her I have just this to say: keep adding the name of your region, location, neighbourhood, cooperative society, post-box number, to the master copy and mail it back to us. We promise to keep updating the National Anthem in tune with every muse. Only, please, PLEASE, don’t rush to file a PIL in the Supreme Court. Remember it already has some tens of hundreds of cases to bother about.