Fall from Grace

LOOKING out across dirt-coloured water from a ferry, idea cells dance in my head, conjuring images of pirouettes and ballerinaesque spins on...

LOOKING out across dirt-coloured water from a ferry, idea cells dance in my head, conjuring images of pirouettes and ballerinaesque spins on one leg. That8217;s how figure-skaters always do it on TV, right?

The Arctic Circle isn8217;t far, just a short jeep ride away within Mumbai8217;s Esselworld. There8217;s a 8216;Viewers8217; Entry8217; sign at one end, but I give it the go-by and march in through the other gate.

It takes only a few seconds of watching kids zip around for reality to strike. There are four heavy crashes in as many seconds. We step out of the rink area; it8217;s time to get into my skating shoes. 8220;It8217;s freezing inside,8221; I complain weakly. But the photographer is already checking his equipment. 8220;Let8217;s start with you putting on your skates,8221; he says.

8220;Single blades or double?8221; The Esselworld representative with us suggests that shoes with two blades would be better. As we step into the rink, a portly teenager falls, gets up and falls again. Suddenly, a guided tour of the chilling plant seems appealing.

8220;You can8217;t skate in those.8221; That8217;s Raphael, my trainer, who skates as gracefully as he says his name. I instantly like him8212;I8217;ll hate him for two seconds later in the day, but right now, he8217;s quite cute. The double-blade skates are only for walking, he admonishes. I exit, change shoes, return. I take one step in and, arms flailing, fall in a heap. I8217;ve learnt my first skating lesson: For somebody with flat feet almost four inches wide, the 2-cm blade is insufficient for balance.

I smile at a worried Raphael and say I8217;ll be back. Exit, change back into double-blade skates, return. 8220;I8217;ll walk for a while,8221; I say firmly. Then, the first instructions: 8220;Keep your feet in a V and then one two8230; one two8230;8221; Simple enough, but how come the figure-skaters never do the duck-walk? I walk around the 1,200-sq feet rink twice, smiling at another girl who just won8217;t let go of the railing. She8217;s on double blades, I notice triumphantly. The next step is to slide one foot away in a diagonal direction, keeping the other firmly on the ground. As he demonstrates, he skates off. 8220;Nonononono don8217;t go. I8217;m falling,8221; I squeal.

But I don8217;t fall, I hang on to Raphael8217;s arm and fight valiantly. The photographer wants shots of me tumbling and gestures at my trainer.

You8217;ve seen the photo, but it was a conspiracy to trip me. Et tu, Raphael?