Bird Talk

Predicting the future is not an easy task. Our correspondent takes on the challenge to see what the cards have in store for him

Predicting the future is not an easy task. Debesh Banerjee takes on the challenge to see what the cards have in store for him
I have always been wary of approaching roadside astrologers. It does seem strange that a man armed with a bird and a couple of cards can tell you what the universe has in store for you. When I was told by my boss to be an astrologer for a day, it did seem the cosmic powers were trying to send me a message. I agreed.

My destination is the Garden of Five Senses in Delhi where a resident astrologer and his bird, a 8216;tota8217;parrot tell the future for a sum of Rs 100. We find the soothsayer in a saffron robe, with a string of beads around his neck and a vermilion smear on his forehead. 8220;Come my child, take a seat. My name is Pandit Manoj Rao Bhatte. So you would like to know your future?8221; he politely enquires, as his hands get down to the task of arranging his pack of 8216;future8217; cards. He obviously does not foresee me asking him if I could assist him for a day.

But he agrees in no time. He says, 8220;Sure. I will show you how to tell a person8217;s future.8221; To make me look convincing enough, he places a colourful shawl on my shoulders. Then brings forth the tota, who acknowledges me with a squeak. 8220;When anyone tells me their name, the tota called Raju picks up a card from the pack of 12 cards representing the 12 star signs,8221; he adds.
You can8217;t help but imagine how a person8217;s future rests on a parrot8217;s whim! 8220;I know what you are thinking,8221; says Panditji. 8220;The bird8217;s decision is like a shagun. You must accept it as your destiny. The bird tells ones star sign based on the name and not the sun sign,8221; he continues. 8220;You then read out the verses on the card and narrate the future. This would tell a person8217;s future for the next few years.8221; Seems simple enough.

My first customer is a man in his early 20s who looks quite dejected. I am not sure if I am his best bet in the time of need. I try my best to cover my flashy T-shirt with my shawl. The real panditji8217;s reassuring glance settles him. 8220;Hello,8221; I proceed to shake his hand. Panditji intervenes and gestures me to fold my hands together. 8220;Namaste!8221;
8220;Call me Panditji. What is your name?8221; I ask. 8220;Rupinder,8221; he answers somberly. 8220;Raju ji, Rupinder ji ke naam ka patta nikalo,8221; I instruct the parrot who promptly picks up a card and hands it over. I flip open the card to find Hindi sentences printed in fine script. I hesitate a bit but with the real Panditji beside me, I confidently read out the lines. 8220;Tumhari tula rashi hai. You are a Libran.8221; Rupinder agrees. I clinch my fists in a silent celebration. 8220;Grah ka upay nikale.8221; In other words, 8220;Worship whichever god you believe in. If you do not believe in any god, then respect your elders or someone you look up to.8221; The Panditji nods in agreement. Rupinder listens attentively. 8220;Karaye sach. You will find peace in coming days.8221; By now my confidence is sky high. I try to keep a straight face as I say, 8220;Kharch badega. You will incur expenses. You just need to be patient.8221; Rupinder bows his head, folds his hands, pays money and leaves. My future as an astrologer does look rosy.

8220;Well done, for a first timer. You have been lucky. But telling someone8217;s future is not that easy. It involves complex equations. The bird makes our task easy since what he decides is all destiny,8221; says Panditiji.
Soon a young boy and his mother approach us. 8220;Namaste panditji, can u tell my son8217;s future. His name is Sunil and is very adamant,8221; says his 30-something mother. 8220;You are an Aquarian and this year is lucky for you. You will catch up with friends and relatives.8221; The boy gets excited and starts jumping around. His mother tries hard to calm him. But in his excitement he pulls off my shawl revealing my funky T-shirt and blowing my cover. 8220;What8217;s that! You are not an astrologer,8221; the mother gets annoyed. Panditji intervenes and calms her down. 8220;Relax, he is an apprentice, I am teaching him how to be an astrologer,8221; he assures her. But the woman is not convinced and drags her son away. That signals the end of my stint as an astrologer. A small crowd has now gathered to look at the fake astrologer. Panditji remains unruffled. He says, 8220;I guess it was meant to be. It must have been written in your stars.8221; I hear Raju8217;s shrill goodbye.