Between memories and morale

The memory of those operations was still fresh, especially his first firefight. Nobody ever prepared him for it, for nobody ever can. Particularly the fact that he was deputed by the Government of India to kill young boys with guns who he was taught were citizens of his country. It was a brief encounter, on a soggy and pitch black night. His company commander and the scout of the patrol fired first, and then all hell broke loose. Being a greenhorn at that time, Ram Avtar was further behind, but still opened up with his cumbersome 7.62 mm rifle. The noise of the encounter was too loud for him to even think, and at the end of it all, there were two young Naga boys lying dead, and his company commander wounded. Despite months of bayonetting targets during training, those dead Naga boys still caused a revulsion in him.

Thesewere supposed to be Indians, he thought.As the Nagaland tenure went by, Ram Avtar became more steeled to death in home country. The unit picked up casualties, and caused many. But the revelation was the casualness with which the state continued to function. The local MLA would visit the unit once in a while, sometimes alone, but many a time with a contractor from Delhi who claimed to be making roads. There aren8217;t many of those around, Ram Avtar thought. Some of the sympathetic locals would tell them which MLA was involved with the militants, which official passed on funds to them, and which contractor paid how much so the militants wouldn8217;t haul him up for roads not made. After some months the same MLA would become a minister, and be photographed in Delhi, getting more developmental funds for the state.

Insurgency is a great profiteering venture, many remarked.Many made profits even in Sri Lanka where Ram Avtar8217;s unit was part of a peacekeeping venture. The government has said that the Tamils are to beprotected. It was said at a durbar before leaving for the island. But within months, he was hunting down militants, and protecting himself from the wrath of the local people, and both were Tamils. 8220;The government is funny8221;, he shared his thoughts in the company. 8220;Tells us something, and makes us do the reverse.8221; And all this while the intelligence chaps taking shelter in his company location would go out at all sorts of hours, without protection.

One of them even walked into an ambush laid by Ram Avtar8217;s team, and died with the rest of militants. What is the government upto, they all thought when checking the bodies.There was a brief peace station between serving in Sri Lanka and freezing on the Siachen glacier. It was the only time in his Army career that his wife joined him, for he was allotted accommodation for a year. She would see him go out early for PT and come back late at night.

But at least she was with him, and their children could attend school where teachers were present. His family sawhim in uniform, wearing ribbons that spoke of field service and counterinsurgency operations. It was a brief interlude in a service devoid of family life.And here he was in Khanabal, having been deputed to a Rashtriya Rifles unit soon after coming down from the glacier. The men and officer came from all arms and services, and every part of India. He was now a Havildar, commanding a section of men who thought in many different Indian languages, but spoke the same words. There wasn8217;t a doubt in their minds that the colleagues being lost daily were dying on account of the ineptitude of some in Delhi and Srinagar.

8220;They created this mess, and then send us in to clean it up8221;. For whom are we killing the citizens of this country, he thought, making his way into a damp and cold sleeping bag, with a plateful of frozen rice and steaming dal. Tomorrow he would be out of here, he thought when the cook came to announce that the government had sacked the Naval Chief for defiance, 8220;but our morale is very high, it hasbeen announced in Delhiquot;.