Baby Shopping

Gita Kapoor, a single woman on Mission Baby, recounts the transatlantic journey that takes her from gene-pool heartbreaks to donor dads and petri-dish unions. Her story is that of the new Indian woman and her choices.

It was an extravagant psychic moment but the mystery was revealed in more commonsensical terms 8212; it was February 2007, the flying stars changed, the east bedroom brought in the nine stars that heralded new beginnings, fertility, marriages, conception of intelligent children and childbirth and this was the only year 48-year-old Gita Kapoor, Feng Shui master to tycoons and superstars, showgirls and teen princesses, could have a child. The astral missive was clear 8212; conceive or concur. There was a niggling crunch, though 8212; the World Bank official is single, has fertility-anxiety and a history of romantic near-misses.

Then came another moment of enlightenment 8212; this time it was the blinding white flash of technology, not heavenly illumination, which showed her the way. It took her on a transatlantic journey of petri-dish unions, donor dads, reproductive services, gene pools and genetic counselling, hormone washes and insemination couriers. 8220;What is available is unbelievable,8221; says the zesty Kapoor. 8220;I was very clear 8212; today, I wanted a baby first, the man came second. If I have not conceived naturally, heaven, earth and mankind were now pushing me in a certain direction. It was God8217;s way of fulfilling my destiny.8221;

Sure, who says you are bound by nature today? 8220;It was a tough call,8221; she says. 8220;My fertility doctor told me it would not be a cakewalk. There would be a long and painful medical process, endless wait and several disappointments. But I was ready to take it on. I was on Mission Baby,8221; she laughs.

Kapoor met her fertility doctor and passed her clinical investigations and tests with flying colours. She was given two choices. She opted for IUI or intrauterine insemination in which conception is induced in the body. She would go for in-vitro fertilization IVF, conception on a dish, only if the former failed. She signed legal consent forms, medical-claim benefits and insurance papers and prepared herself for immaculate conception. The time had now come to find a donor daddy.

It is like being swished through the revolving doors of a futuristic, genetic, convenience store 8212; of catalogue shopping and online purchase of the perfect specimen. 8220;It was not only about religion, gender, height, weight, IQ, pedigree, education and skin colour see box, but also personality and demeanour,8217;8217; marvels Kapoor. 8220;This was about multiple choices, not multiple orgasms,8221; she says dryly.

It is also the ultimate truth for the uber-female. Consider this: as the ultra-feminists have deduced, here8217;s a match made in heaven but it is on earth. There is no endless wait for phone calls or proposal. You can do 8220;it8221; anytime, anywhere, make your choice in your office or at home, while surfing and scanning with friends or colleagues. In the high stakes of specimen selection, the consumer is Queen. There is competition 8212; donors are categorised 8212; and there will be rejection.

There is also an unbelievable choice at the deep end of the gene pool. You give your child a head start over others. After all, you know the advantages of genetic possibilities 8212; the offspring is not only good-looking, intelligent, talented and has a personality but he/she may also like Bach, The Beach Boys and Barbados. And women can do what they are best at doing 8212; shopping.

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Kapoor, however, was clear that she did not want an anonymous donor 8212; this wanna-be-mom was not keen on turning catalogues or online shopping. 8220;I was scared it could be a murderer,8221; she says with conventional shudder. 8220;Yes, I know donors are categorised, but inside me there was still this yearning to know the person, his background,8221; she says in a tone of quaint romanticism.

Kapoor didn8217;t go into a clinical swoon in a donor bank but she set out for a bit of earthly matchmaking, beginning with her friends. Actually, her first proposal was to a love interest on shaadi.com 8212; a transatlantic romance that was beginning to take off on the information super highway. 8220;It could have been an instant turn-off,8221; says Kapoor. 8220;We had already met in Delhi and it was going wonderfully well, but before we could even think of marriage, I popped the baby question.8221; It was a decent proposal, she says, she only gave him the first option of being a donor dad. 8220;No strings attached, in case our relationship didn8217;t finally work out,8221; she says.

He accepted, and soon there was a swirl of e-mail and Google searches for cryobanks to preserve the culture, and courier companies to carry nitrogen-frosted thermoses across the seas. But soon there was heartbreak 8212; the 8220;provider8221; was not given a certificate as he had a medical history of high blood pressure and was on medication. 8220;I was crestfallen,8221; she says sorrowfully, 8220;I wanted his genius gene, and if it had to work out with him, it would have been perfect to start a family too.8221;

But there was no time to waste, her first hormonal injections were beginning to kick in and it was time to look out again. If surfing didn8217;t work, it was speed dating now. Kapoor pulled out her little black book and went down the list like a Nazi.