Amitabh, a natural resource

The association of words and images being deeply rooted in our psyche, the very names of nations are evocative of inextricably linked images...

The association of words and images being deeply rooted in our psyche, the very names of nations are evocative of inextricably linked images. The USA? The Statue of Liberty and hamburgers. Paris? The Eiffel Tower and cabarets. Italy? The Leaning Tower and pizza. Contrariwise, I have long laboured under the misconception that India, to the vast majority of foreigners, evoked a few or many of the following images 8212; the Taj by moonlight, caparisoned elephants and kathakali dancers, snake-charmers and Maharajahs, roads choked with garbage and sacred cows, levitating yogis and saffron-clad sadhus, corpses and brides on funeral pyres, ballot boxes and bandits, beggars and child-labourers with Mahatma Gandhi looking benignly on. And perhaps A.R. Rahman8217;s Vande Mataram thrown in for good measure.

Imagine my consternation on a recent visit to Egypt images: the Sphinx and the pyramids when India8217;s celluloid power destroyed my delusions. The sight of my sari was greeted with the gleeful shout of,quot;India? Amitabh Bachchan!quot; This ubiquitous reaction appeared to transcend barriers of locale, age and social class and was echoed by people encountered in various milieu. The India? Amitabh Bach-chan8217; chant encompassed camel drivers urging tourists to ride at the pyramids of Giza, the ragged street-urchins tagging along chirpily for baksheesh at the bazaar, peasants plodding placidly by with their sun-bleached donkeys, nimble-fingered youngsters toiling at a carpet factory, bartenders on board the ships cruising the Nile and the lock-keeper whose wide grin was at odds with his menacing rifle.

I soon reached a stage of conditioning at which the stimulus of India?8217; triggered a reflex Amitabh Bachchan8217; from me, sparing my interlocutor the trouble! And this despite my having seen maybe a dozen Hindi films in all my thirty-odd years and being familiar with Amitabh Bachchan largely as MTV8217;s erotic sculptor in Kabhi Kabhi. Egyptians are a veritable mine of information regarding the Big B8217;s variousescapades on the silver screen, his sundry illnesses and recent ventures, all of which they narrate with obvious relish. An Egyptian gentleman asked me at dinner, quot;We have the Nile; what do you Indians have?quot; I could not for the life of me resist from replying very solemnly, quot;We have Amitabh Bachchan.quot; I still cannot quite make up my mind as to whether he laughed in appreciation of my irony or in earnest agreement!

Will some Good Samaritan kindly inform Amitabh that he has a good thing going in the Land of the Pyramids? Our endemic Angry not so Young Man appears to be sorely in need of such glad tidings to stem the tide of his folly, which makes him contemplate romancing Mani-sha Koirala in a doomed attempt at recapturing his lost youth. He would do better to bid a graceful namaskar to our jaded cine-goers and make a beeline for Egypt to sail to glory on the Nile. With his lately developed corporate sense, tapping the potential Bachchan-mania lurking in the desert sands would be just another songand dance for him! Then again, Egypt8217;s plethora of ancient monuments and the past glory of the age of the Pharoahs, would suit our youth-obsessed hero to a T. In comparison to the hoary Sphinx, our Big B would be a babe in arms! With his fan-following assuming Pharaonic proportions, our man could win any election hands down.

Perhaps we could exploit Amitabh Bachchan as a natural resources and barter him for petroleum 8212; six months8217; loan of Amitabh for six months8217; supply of oil. That would be cocking a snook at economic sanctions in true filmi style! Now for a parting piece of advice 8212; Amitabh had better make haste to capitalise on his Egyptian market before the winds of India? Atom Bomb!8217; blow across the desert and the old chant becomes Amitabh Bachchan? Who?8217;