‘Main bada ghabrata tha inse’: Kanwaljit Singh recalls feeling intimidated by Amitabh Bachchan, his kind nature; why some people get unnerved by authority figures

This moment left a lasting impact on Kanwaljit, highlighting how small acts of kindness from those in power can uplift and encourage others. It also sheds light on the dynamics of authority, respect, and self-confidence in professional settings.

 

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Why do some people feel intimidated by authority figures, even in non-hierarchical environments?

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “Even in non-hierarchical spaces, authority figures can feel intimidating because they represent something bigger than just a person — they symbolise competence, responsibility, or even the expectations we place on ourselves. When faced with authority, some people experience a deep sense of self-doubt, wondering if they truly have something valuable to offer.”

For some, she adds that the discomfort goes even deeper. If they’ve internalised the idea that success comes with consequences — perhaps believing that doing well invites resentment or isolation — then authority figures can feel like reminders of an unspoken tension: Am I allowed to take up space? Is it safe to be seen? The fear isn’t necessarily about hierarchy but about the existential weight of stepping into one’s own power.

How can individuals overcome self-doubt and the tendency to apologise for their achievements?

Baruah advises, “Sit with yourself. Not with the version that feels the need to justify every step, but with the part of you that longs to simply exist without explanation. Self-doubt often comes from an unspoken belief that I am only as worthy as what I offer, or that occupying space requires constant permission. But you do not need to apologise for being here.”

Instead of fighting self-doubt, Baruah states, meet it with compassion. Ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I fully own my success? Sometimes, the fear isn’t of failure but of visibility — of stepping into who you are without shrinking.

The role of kindness from influential figures

“Kindness from influential figures does more than just create a pleasant environment — it validates existence,” says Baruah. “When someone in a position of influence acknowledges, encourages, or simply treats others with warmth, it sends a quiet but powerful message: You are seen, and you matter.

In a world where authority is often associated with critique or indifference, a kind word or a moment of genuine presence from an influential figure isn’t just nice — it’s transformative.