Bollywood actor Hema Malini, once revealed how her husband, Dharmendra, played a protective and conservative role as a father to their daughters, Esha and Ahana Deol. In an interview with Simi Garewal, she described how Dharmendra had specific expectations for his daughters, particularly regarding their attire. “Whenever he comes to Bombay, he makes sure to visit his children and talks to them about their academics,” she said, adding that he preferred his daughters to wear traditional salwar kameez. “The moment he is supposed to come home, my daughters change into salwar kameez,” Hema shared. Though he doesn’t mind jeans, she noted, “I tell them that if your father likes this, wear it for him.” At the time, Esha and Ahana were just teenagers, balancing their style with their father’s preferences. This influence extended to their career paths and life choices as well. Although Esha had shown an interest in joining the film industry, Dharmendra had always been clear on the subject. “Right from their birth, he was very particular about it,” Hema explained. “It’s okay for them to learn dance and stuff, but they can’t enter films.” Esha, reflecting on this dynamic, shared that her father’s views stemmed from a traditional background. “He wanted me to get married and settle down at 18 because that was his conditioning,” she revealed in an interview with Hauterrfly recently, attributing it to his conservative roots. How a father’s protective and conservative outlook shape his daughters' self-esteem and views on self-expression Dr Arohi Vardhan, MBBS, MD and Post Doctoral in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Cadabams Mindtalk, tells indianexpress.com, “Research in Journal of Family Psychology highlights that daughters often internalise parental values, especially those related to identity and self-expression. When a father encourages modesty or restricts certain forms of self-expression, daughters may perceive these boundaries as part of their identity, shaping their comfort levels in exploring personal interests and style.” While this protective approach can make daughters feel valued and safe, she adds that it may also create a “subtle pressure to conform.” A conservative outlook may lead daughters to avoid styles or interests that are outside their father’s comfort zone, potentially affecting their self-esteem and authenticity. By feeling that certain expressions are “off-limits,” daughters may suppress their natural inclinations, which can affect how they view themselves in broader social contexts. Impact of a father’s beliefs around modesty on a daughter’s body image and confidence On one hand, a father’s encouragement of modesty can cultivate a sense of self-respect and dignity, says Dr Vardhan. “Daughters may feel more in control of their bodies and less pressured to conform to societal standards of beauty that prioritise revealing clothing. However, she continues, if modesty is strictly enforced or framed negatively, daughters might associate their bodies with discomfort or shame. This can lead to issues with body image, as they might feel uncertain or insecure in expressing their personal style, often questioning if their choices align with what is ‘acceptable’. Navigating the balance between respecting a father’s traditional values Balancing respect for a father’s traditional values with one’s own career goals is a common challenge for daughters raised in conservative families. “Studies in Family Relations indicate that daughters in such settings often adopt a dual approach: respecting family values while finding ways to pursue their own ambitions. Open communication and gradual exposure to different career ideas can be effective strategies for navigating this balance,” notes Dr Vardhan. She adds that engaging fathers in understanding the significance of a chosen career can also be impactful. “Fathers who may be initially skeptical about non-traditional career paths often appreciate seeing the dedication and value their daughters bring to these fields, fostering a supportive environment. Through respectful dialogue and showcasing commitment, daughters can honour their father’s values without compromising their career dreams.”
