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Journalism of Courage
The experience of childbirth is both profound and life-changing. For many women, the postpartum period can also bring with it an overwhelming amount of societal pressure, particularly regarding weight. In many cultures, especially patriarchal ones, a woman’s worth is often unfairly linked to her physical appearance. This pressure to conform to narrow beauty standards can become even more intense after pregnancy when a woman’s body undergoes significant changes. As counselling psychologist Priyamvada Tendulkar explains, this societal pressure, combined with the hormonal upheaval and physical demands of childbirth, can make women feel incredibly fragile and vulnerable.
In a candid interview with Brut India, actor Rupali Ganguly opened up about the pressures of body image, motherhood, and self-acceptance. “Your waist goes from 24-25 inches to 40 inches…People say things like, ‘Oh, you’ve gained so much weight!’ and it really hurts, especially when you’re already battling postpartum changes,” she said. Despite the harsh comments, Rupali revealed that the real struggle was with her self-image, admitting, “You start feeling lesser about yourself, not because someone says it, but because you start believing it.”
Rupali credited her husband for his support, sharing how he never made her feel unattractive or criticised her appearance. “He never told me I was ugly or fat; I don’t think he even realized I had gained weight,” she said with gratitude.
Rupali isn’t alone. Postpartum weight gain, in particular, can take a toll on a woman’s self-image. “A woman’s weight is unfortunately considered part of her ‘worth,’ and this puts tremendous pressure on her to look a certain way after pregnancy,” Tendulkar explains. The result? A woman may start to feel ugly, unattractive, and worthless, leading to deep insecurities about her body. This can fuel a desperation to lose weight, which, in turn, may lead to harmful behaviors like crash dieting, over-exercising, or even the onset of eating disorders or body dysmorphia. Additionally, the constant scrutiny and self-criticism can trigger anxiety and depression, making postpartum mental health even more precarious.
The key to navigating this challenging period lies in self-compassion and support from loved ones. Tendulkar emphasises the importance of standing by oneself and practicing self-compassion. “Women must learn to separate their self-worth from society’s view of them,” she advises. This means shifting the focus away from societal expectations of beauty and appreciating the incredible growth of becoming a mother. By focusing on the profound changes happening internally—emotionally and mentally—women can learn to let go of some of the external pressures they used to succumb to before motherhood.
Building a strong support system is crucial. Whether it’s from a husband, family members, or friends, emotional support can make all the difference. Family members should provide loving kindness, affirmation, and constant reminders that a woman’s worth lies in who she is and what she has accomplished by bringing a new life into the world, not how she looks. “The family must offer support in both words and deeds,” says Tendulkar. This includes giving new mothers much-needed “me time,” where they can reconnect with themselves, relax, and update their evolving identity as both a woman and a parent.
Husbands, in particular, play a pivotal role in this journey. “In Indian culture, the husband can very much act as the knight, standing up against unsolicited comments from random ‘aunties’ who feel free to body-shame the new mother,” Tendulkar points out. Whether standing up for their partner or simply being there as a source of unwavering support, husbands can significantly alleviate the pressure. It’s not just about offering emotional reassurance but also providing tangible help—whether sharing in child-rearing responsibilities or creating space for their partner to rest and recharge.
