Shabana Azmi found ‘motherhood’ to be very demanding, found it ‘tough’ to believe that she couldn’t have children: ‘Society makes you feel incomplete’

She further added, “When I asked my mother (late actor Shaukat Azmi), who was an excellent housekeeper, wife… what was the most fulfilling of all her roles, her answer left me surprised. She said her work and appreciation for it gave her primary satisfaction. Women have to overcome patriarchal expectations. It doesn’t mean turning up your nose to duty but making it more inclusive so that your partner also respects it.”

Shabana Azmi and Javed Akhtar

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‘Motherhood is very demanding’

During a conversation with Simi Grewal in 2000, the actor was asked about the importance of marriage for a “self-sufficient woman”. To this, she replied that her situation was different because she didn’t have children. “Not being able to have children, in a sense, made the choices much easier because I could give so much more of my time, because I think motherhood is very demanding,” she expressed.

Shabana continued, “I am amazed at the fact that it isn’t. Because in the beginning, I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t be a mother. I was so sure that I was so special and so privileged, that this is my God given right. And yet, I was so amazed at how easily I accepted it. Once I realised I couldn’t have kids, I didn’t let it linger over and make me unhappy. I just packed my bags and carried on from there and was very grateful for many other things that I could do.”

When asked if she ever thought about adoption as an option, she said, “I never wanted to adopt a child. No. Well, because I am very friendly with Javed’s kids so that need was fulfilled. They have grown up and they are at a time when I don’t have to change their nappies or worry about their malaria. They are bright children with whom I exchange ideas and it’s wonderful to have them at this age, where they fight back with you, and you can see new ideas germinating in them as they are having a conversation with you. That’s an age group I like very much.”

Shabana Azmi-Javed Akhtar celebrate 41st wedding anniversary

 

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A post shared by Shabana Azmi (@azmishabana18) 

To mark their special day, Shabana Azmi took to her Instagram handle and shared a heartfelt wish for her husband Javed Akhtar. Along with an adorable picture, she wrote in the caption, “To be able to look at each other with such tenderness after 41 years of marriage says it all ..Happy Anniversary Jadu.”

The couple tied the knot in 1984, and have been married for 41 years. Javed was previously married to screenwriter Honey Irani, and they had two children together – filmmaker-actor Farhan Akhtar and director-producer Zoya Akhtar.