When couples face marital indigestion

Take the case of Mina and Akash. When they were dating things were fine since both would order what they liked and neither paid any need to the eating habits of the partners during courtship.

But when they got married things changed completely. Though they had a maid to cook for them, the issue of what would be there for dinner became a bone of contention.

“I loved to have my healthy diet of soup and salad for meals and Akash was familiar with that. But he would insist that the maid cook a full non-vegetarian meal, which left her no time for my meal. I found that really unreasonable on his part,” Mina said.

Akash on the other hand felt that she was just being touchy about nothing.

“A meal means proper meal. If she doesnt need that, it doesn’t mean that I don’t need a complete meal. I am not to be blamed for her feeling upset about things,” says Akash.

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Experts say that though the disagreements over what to eat can seem innocuous, it sometimes can lead to deep resentment that can rip a relationship apart. They suggest that a compromise or an understanding has to be reached mutually about the issue so that a stitch in time can save nine later on.

Even in the case of Meher and Romi, what started as soft bickering over food led to bigger issues in their relationship.

Meher, who came from an army background, was used to having fresh juices with her meals and would insist on that even after they got married. But for Romi, it was a huge expenditure which could be expended with.

“I couldn’t understand how she could spend so much on just fruits and juices. With vegetable prices escalating by the day, there was a need to buy what we really needed and not indulge in such luxuries at the cost of a wholesome meal. For the same amount we could have bought mutton, chicken and eggs regularly and stay not just healthy but with full stomach as well,” he said.

For Meher, the so-called small issue soon became a make-or-break moment in the relationship.

“I couldn’t believe that I was being made to feel guilty and petty about what I wanted to eat. Even if it cost money, he should not have interfered since it was something that was so important to me. I began to see that money was more important to him than my needs,” she says.

Counsellors say it is very crucial that couples do not undermine the importance of food in the plate of relationships. It’s very important to find a common ground, work out alternatives where both can have what they like.

Many experts say that deciding alternate days for food of you and your partner’s choice can help take the steam off to quite an extent. It’s also important to accept that you and your partner may have different taste buds – and sometimes if you are open to accepting challenges then that difference can also add some spice to your marital life.