5 steps to ensure your needs are fulfilled in your relationship

If you’re wondering where to begin, Sadaf Siddiqi, a psychotherapist, took to Instagram to share 5 steps to ensure your needs are met in a relationship.

Identify what’s missing

The first step, Siddiqi says, is to identify what’s missing in your relationship — whether it’s communication, quality time, or intimacy and adventure.

To do this, Kumaar advises looking back at your previous and current relationships to see what you found particularly fulfilling or lacking. “Take the time to reflect on your emotional, physical, and mental requirements within the relationship. Understanding what you need is the base of any strong relationship.”

Share the facts

Once you’ve identified your relationship needs, the next step is to communicate this with your partner. “Open, transparent, and authentic communication is key,” says Kumaar, adding that “without these conversations, it is challenging to meet each other’s needs.”

When communicating your needs, be specific and provide examples. “Vague communication can lead to misunderstandings, whereas clarity in expression helps your partner understand your expectations and creates a more proactive approach,” Kumaar notes.

State your feelings about the need using an “I”

Siddiqi recommends always using “I” statements while expressing your needs as it is less accusatory and enhances understanding. For example: “I feel lonely when I don’t hear from you for days at a time,” “I feel overwhelmed when I don’t have time to decompress alone,” “I miss exploring places with you.”

Explain your need to help the other person better understand its importance

To make your partner understand how important this relationship need is for you, Kumaar advises stating the need clearly and how it’ll help your connection.

Citing examples, Siddiqi uses these statements, “I need more regular communication to feel more connected to you,” “Having time to myself helps me be more present when we’re together,” “Traveling together is a way for me to share my interests with you.”

Make a specific request (or propose a solution) for how you would like your need met

Instead of putting the responsibility on your partner, propose a solution or work together to find a middle ground, says Kumaar.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Sadaf Siddiqi (@your.being) 

“Expressing your needs doesn’t guarantee that they will be met right away (or even at all). It may take continued conversations about how certain needs impact you or make you feel. However, without these steps, the other person may not know how important something is to you or how they can actually meet your needs,” Siddiqi concludes.