Milind Soman on navigating marriage despite 26-year age gap with wife Ankita: ‘Her ideas are different and incredible’

Shedding light on their differing cultural backgrounds, he said, “She’s Assamese and I am Maharashtrian, and we are as different as anything can be. We come from different generations, different parts of the world, with different languages and different food habits. Yet the fact that we have managed to find each other and find that space in which we merge our thoughts, emotions and our spirits, that is something very special. I can say that my life has only become better because of her.”

Ankita, too, reflected on their relationship’s unique perspective on time and gratitude.

“When you are young, you don’t realise a lot of things and put plans on hold for the future. But when you are with a person with whom you have that age gap, you tend to realise that each moment is special. I can actually look at life from a point of view filled with only gratitude,” she said.

 

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The psychology of age-gap relationships

Rima Bhandekar, psychologist, Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, said that age-gap relationships come with differences in perspectives, experiences, and opportunities. She emphasises the importance of open communication to sustain the relationship.

“Couples must ensure they are on the same page regarding important life decisions. Be understanding and supportive of your partner’s journey as per their age bracket, whether it’s their career, relationships, or finances,” she said.

According to her, successful couples often have aligned values, such as family, ethics, and future plans. Key discussions should focus on non-negotiable aspects that matter to both partners.

Treat your partner on the same level as yours. “Refrain from making assumptions about their maturity levels or decision making capacity simply based on age. Connection is built on shared experiences so make sure to have quality time spent on activities and places that matter to both, and learn from each other’s perspective on life,” she said.

Bhandekar also suggested some other tips for maintaining a healthy-age gap relationship:

– Reserve time to listen to your partner’s feelings, and emotionally support when needed.
– Differences in life experiences may lead to varying opinions, so resolve issues through timely conversations.
– Clarify expectations regarding career, lifestyle, and family planning to avoid future conflicts.
– Make important decisions together, ensuring both partners have an equal say.