Kate Winslet talks about the importance of complimenting young girls, ‘If we do not tell them they are beautiful, they might not hear it from anyone else’

 

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How can this have a positive impact on their mental health?

Psychologist Srishti Vatsa said that children internalise a lot of things that parents and caregivers tell them, which ends up shaping their internal conversations and perception of self. Speaking with kindness builds confidence in them. On the other hand, negative comments can bring in self doubt.

Because body shaming by parents is so common in our society, children may develop body image issues at a very early age. Even the fears projected by parents become a part of kids’ internal dialogues. She mentioned that parents should also be observant of the other people in their children’s lives––close relatives and caregivers––and be mindful of the language being used to engage with the young ones.

“Even labelling them as stupid can be ingrained deep into their psyche. Not only will the children actually start believing in it, they will also start embodying the same behaviour; it becomes a big factor contributing to their confidence,” Winslet said.

It is important to focus their mindset on internal locus of control and process, rather than having their esteem linked to outcomes, which can lead to perfectionism (Source: Freepik)

Counselling psychologist Priyamvada Tendulkar told indianexpress.com that complimenting young girls, especially on their efforts rather than their outcome, can hugely boost their self-esteem and make girls (or children) more internally driven rather than be dependent on external validation. “It is important to focus their mindset on internal locus of control and process, rather than having their esteem linked to outcomes, which can lead to perfectionism,” she said, adding that even paying attention to children’s feelings through the process can be a huge boost.

Tendulkar added that complimenting little girls on their worthiness can help de-link their self-worth from their looks or performance. “It is necessary to compliment both girls and boys, but especially young girls because social media can put intense pressure on them to look and behave a certain way. Nowadays, the same is happening to men which results in them ending up with a lot of performance pressure,” she said.