Attraction is subjective, and personal preferences can vary widely when it comes to what people find appealing or off-putting in a partner. Actor Anushka Sharma once shared one of her biggest turn-offs in an episode of Koffee with Karan. Referring to men who take their shirts off and pose, she said, "It's just not attractive, I find it actually quite off-putting. Do it when you have to do it, like if you have to go have a bath or you have to wear your clothes." When Katrina Kaif, guest in the episode, pointed out that a man will anyway have to take his shirt off to have a bath, Sharma replied, “Yeah, I mean when you need to do it. You can’t just take off your (shirt), because I feel like it’s a little too much now. Sometimes it makes sense. Sometimes when you just see a tease of a guy getting out and into something… that thing, that’s attractive. Removing and posing, it’s so off-putting, come one (sic).” While confidence and self-expression are important, they don’t always align with what others find attractive. Why do certain behaviours or fashion choices become turn-offs for some people, and how do personal preferences shape attraction? Neha Cadabam, senior psychologist and executive director at Cadabams Hospitals, tells indianexpress.com, “Behaviours or fashion choices may become turn-offs when they signal qualities that clash with a person’s internal values or desired image in a partner. For instance, certain styles might be interpreted as a lack of effort or an indicator of mismatched priorities. These responses are largely formed through past experiences and cultural narratives, leading individuals to develop unique preferences. In this way, personal attraction is less about objective aesthetics and more about the meanings and associations we attach to various cues in a potential partner’s presentation.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by LɪᴠᴇLᴏᴠᴇLᴀᴜɢʜ 💫 (@tragicbollyx) How can men and women strike a balance between confidence and self-awareness when it comes to personal presentation? Confidence in personal presentation stems from being true to oneself while remaining receptive to social context and constructive feedback. Both men and women benefit from cultivating self-awareness - recognising what their style communicates and ensuring it aligns with their personality and values. It involves a thoughtful balance: expressing individuality without veering into extremes that may alienate others. “By staying open to input from trusted friends or mentors, individuals can fine-tune their presentation. The goal is to present an authentic image that projects self-assurance, while also being mindful of social signals that might affect how they’re perceived. Ultimately, it’s an ongoing process of self-reflection and adaptation that allows personal style to evolve in harmony with one’s inner confidence,” states Cadabam. Role of social conditioning in shaping what individuals find attractive or unattractive in a partner Social conditioning has a profound impact on our notions of attractiveness, explains Cadabam. “From early childhood, media, cultural norms, and peer interactions embed certain ideals about what is considered desirable. These societal influences can shape preferences, often dictating that traits or styles associated with success, beauty, or even professionalism are attractive.” However, the expert reassures that these norms are not immutable. “As awareness of diversity grows and individuals engage in self-reflection, many begin to question and redefine these inherited standards. This evolution allows people to develop more personalised criteria for attraction that resonate with their true selves, rather than simply mirroring societal expectations,” concludes Cadabam.
