Fatima Sana Shaikh developed bulimia after Dangal, avoided medication for epilepsy: ‘Why are you giving me paglon wali dawai?’

That shift in her routine made her very “unfit” and “unhealthy.” “Food became my comfort space. I could eat nonstop for hours. I hate myself because I have no control. I operate in extremes. Just a couple of days ago, I kept eating for two hours. Then I’d go in starve mode. In fact, it was so disabling that I wasn’t stepping out of the house,” added Fatima on the podcast Chapter 2 with Rhea Chakraborty.

She even revealed that she battled bulimia for two years. “My understanding of diet was so rigid. That I have to consume only these many calories in a day. Even now, I think about food all the time. I’m always hungry. But I’ve gotten awareness of it because that unhealthy relationship has been changing for years,” said Fatima.

She recalled an instance when her friend and Dangal co-star Sanya Malhotra called her out on this unhealthy relationship with food. But Fatima was in denial. “Then I felt shame. I felt I’m doing something that’s not right. It’s damaging my mental health,” confessed Fatima. She also thanked another friend, screenwriter Rahul Mody, for introducing a healthier diet to her.

“That’s no way to live. Are you so trapped in your mind so much that you can’t even step outside your house? There are days now that I binge on food, but I don’t feel guilty. I chose it,” added Fatima. She also blamed Instagram and other social media for ingraining girls with the idea of starvation to achieve a ‘perfect’ body type.

“Overeating isn’t the issue. But the issue is in you because you’re insecure and eating your feelings. You just want to be numb. It’s like doomscrolling. You feel nauseous by the end of it,” pointed out Fatima. “It’s just that you’re weak in the mind. Whenever someone has a mental health disorder, everything seems fine on the outside. All the demons and dark thoughts are within you, and you’re dealing with them all by yourself,” she added.

Fatima’s battle with epilepsy

Fatima discussed another condition she’s been battling for years — Epilepsy. Rhea recalled how Fatima got dizzy and began to see orbs after exposure to a lot of lights at her event months ago. It worsened to the extent that Fatima had to be sent home. “I didn’t know epilepsy was such a challenge in daily life. I just thought you get some episodes and you can’t work for a few days,” said Rhea.

Fatima revealed that she’s doing better now as she’s taking medication in the morning, evening, and night. But she did avoid taking medication initially. “I thought nothing is wrong with me. Why are you giving me pagalon wali dawai (medicines for mentally challenged people)? Because your association is that if someone gets an epilepsy episode, then they’re possessed or consumed drugs or are attention-seeking. I don’t feel bad for myself, but for them that they don’t have the empathy to understand that it could be a condition,” said Fatima.

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Fatima added that she’s also gotten epilepsy episodes on set. “Now, that is my life. I have to live with it. People who work with me know about it and they don’t have any problem. My world has been very accepting of it,” she said, adding, “But it gives me a lot of anxiety, especially earlier, because I’d think what if an episode occurs when I’m in front of the paparazzi?”