kolkata Confidential

CMO official: “Hello,I am calling from the CMO.”

Protocol official: “Which CMO?”

CMO official saw red and retorted: “How many CMOs do you have?”

“Look,this is the protocol office of the state government and we receive calls from all the CMOs of the country. You will have to specify which CMO you are calling from.” The CMO official now saw reason.

Monsoon ideas

With heavy rain lashing Kolkata and several districts in the last few days,major areas of the city have been submerged in knee-deep water. A usual sight during the monsoon is of boats plying on the flooded Kolkata streets. Meanwhile,there is buzz over Mamata Banerjee’s talk of transforming the city into London. Even in official circles outside Kolkata,this has attracted a lot of scorn and pun. While briefing on the relief and latest updates over the phone ,a senior district official in South 24 Parganas district remarked scornfully,”It’s high time that under the JNNURM scheme,the state government should ask for specially designed passenger boats instead of low-floor buses for Kolkata. It will assist the citizens as well as give them a flavour of Venice before they get to London”.

Heroic ideas

After Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee told her staff that they have to work like the character played by Anil Kapoor in the film ‘Nayak’,her bureaucrats also seem to be following the same line. Last week,there was a special screening of the movie ‘Satru’ — the Bengali remake of the South Indian movie ‘Sinham’ based on a character of a bold inspector — for Kolkata Police. After watching the movie,a senior police official instructed his subordinates to start working like the hero. The comment led to a controversy among his subordinate officers and word has spread that henceforth,the police and administration have to perform like movie heroes.

Late realisation

After receiving flak from the media for being perpetually unavailable in his office and for being spotted near Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee a number of times,Kolkata Municipal Corporation Mayor Sovan Chatterjee had a sudden realisation that the streets of Kolkata,and not the Assembly,are his workplace. “I thought that the Vidhan Sabha is not my place. This is my place,” said the Mayor while adjusting his dhoti in knee-deep water that had gathered in front of the Palmer Bazar Pumping Station at Behala,which he had gone to supervise. However,critics say the realisation dawned only after Chatterjee was rebuked by the Chief Minister,who was visibly annoyed with footages of waterlogged streets of Kolkata being aired on television channels. She called up Chatterjee and instructed him to do something about it immediately.

Commission time

Committees and commissions seem to the mantra of the new government and Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee. The latest being the 25-member core group for industry which will meet every fortnight. Already,there is a committee to rejuvenate higher education with a separate one for Presidency University. Along with this,there is a committee to formulate a land policy. Hospitals have been advised to have a ‘patients welfare committee’ while the Kolkata Police is busy meeting ‘citizens committees’. Then,there is a long list of commissions to look into the release of political prisoners and probe political killings. In just 30 days,the list of committees and commissions formed by Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee is endless.

Power play

Lionel Messi has a date with Kolkata when Argentina play Venezuela in an international friendly at the Yuba Bharati Krirangan (YBK) on September 2. State sports minister Madan Mitra has promised a new-look stadium for the occasion. But who will take care of the power cuts? This is the question that is doing the rounds in the Maidan. YBK has a notorious history of power cuts during football matches. Brazilian legend Zico had turned philosophical when as Japan coach he faced this during a World Cup qualifier. People concerned are keeping their fingers crossed.