Punjabi talkies

Director: Hardeep Baddowal

Actors: Ashmit Patel,Jividha Aastha,Pooja Tandon,Mangi Mahal,Sudesh Lehri,BN Sharma,Rana Jang Bahadur

music: Willi Sadak,Aman Hayer and Ashok Sharma

Ratings: HHHH

This week,instead of singing Dil sadda lutteya geya,audiences (including the courageous producers) across Punjab must be crying — paisa sadda dubiya geya (which loosely translates to “our money has gone down the drain”). The grand Punjabi debut of self-confessed “super stud” Ashmit Patel,DSLG is the latest addition to the hall of flops. A clueless film with glaring technical bloopers and a defective script and screenplay,it’s the story of Angad (Patel),who has been brought up by two best friends — BN Sharma and Sudesh Lehri — and how Ayesha (Jividha Aastha) and Aman (Pooja Tandon) vie for his love and hand in marriage. As strange as it sounds,Angad sits back and lets the girls impress his dads who are perpetually at loggerheads. While Sharma is a retired DSP,Lehri is a retired Colonel,and they constantly bicker over Angad. The script achieves new levels of warped. Take for instance,it invests in two single fathers (Sharma and Lehri); an insufferable spoof on Sufi singer Satinder Sartaaj by Rana Ranbir; absolutely mindless scenes with Rana Jang Bahadur as Professor Nayantara; and MBA students carrying engineering books to class and throwing chalks at their professor. Apart from this,a cake fight in the canteen,and a youth festival out of the blue,are introduced in the film. We wonder why. We are still trying to figure out the relevance of singer Mangi Mahal in the film. The plot starts post-interval,when the girls undergo a makeover to win Angad’s heart. Avoid this heartburn.

Cheap Thrills

Film: Hai O Rabba Ishaq Na Hove

Director: Sangeet Kumar

Actors: Masha Ali,Jaswinder Gardner,Shri Kankani,Muskan,Pramod Moutho,Shakti Kapoor

music: Willi Sadak,Aman Hayer and Ashok Sharma

Ratings: HHHH

While at least 10 people flocked to watch DSLG,hardly four sat in for Hai O Rabba Ishaq Na Hove. With not a single ticket sale,Piccadily Square decided not to screen the film. This week,the two releases had one thing in common — they tell you exactly what to not do with a film. If you thought DSLG was warped,then this one is damaged,with a number of mind-numbing twists and turns — from our hero Rajvir’s dream to be a singer,to a trip to Mumbai,from averting a kidnapping to beating a few goons. We lost track of the plot after Rajvir lands in Mumbai without anything and sets out to make a career in music,leaving a pregnant wife Manjit behind. Sitting alone in the hall,we screamed for our return on investment,time,money and murdered brain cells. Cinema is the reflection of a society,an indicator of evolution and liberation,and if this is what our so-called creative pool is churning out,then the future of Punjabi cinema is bleak. The two releases this week took us back to the dark ages of Punjabi cinema,which was all about cheap thrills and cheaper copies of Pakistani films.