My Space

Its a conversation that crops up at the oddest of places among strangers,family or friends and it generally goes like this: One kid only? By now Im resigned to the next,inevitable question,usually in a more disapproving tone.

Only doesnt have to mean lonely

Its a conversation that crops up at the oddest of places among strangers,family or friends and it generally goes like this: One kid only? By now Im resigned to the next,inevitable question,usually in a more disapproving tone. Why did you have just one? My answer sounds stale even to me. Because I couldnt have half a kid. And I remind myself that I really need to come up with some fresh lines.

Over the years Ive developed a vast repertoire of answers to annoying,personal questions. Especially about the only child thing since Im deathly bored by it. Im worried about Earths fast depleting resources is my current favourite. Or Im a China-o-phile,if such a term exists. Parents of twos,even the smart ones,feel incomplete unless theyve given you the lowdown on the benefits of providing your child with siblings.

Its usually well meant advice from genuinely puzzled people who cant fathom why,if not for monetary or health reasons,you would choose to have just one child. You have to shrug it off and remember human beings simply cant resist giving unsolicited advice. And misery loves company. I check my irritation by marveling for the thousandth time what people who actually have alternate lifestyles are up against. Imagine the conversations and questions they have to endure over a lifetime. Youll regret it in your old age said one close friend recently,whos currently snowed under rearing two kids aged 3 and 5. I think to myself,at least Im enjoying my youth.

Hell have no one of his own when you die,is another line I hear very often. With longevity being what it is these days,barring some unfortunate incident,I assure them Im around for some years yet. By which time hopefully,hell have learnt how to deal with loss. The funniest accusation Ive heard is youre worried about your figure. Who isnt? But Im a lot more worried about precious leisure time that depletes steadily with every added responsibility.

Parenting is hugely fulfilling,no doubt,and sibling relationships are the only ones that can last from birth to death. Its very selfish not to give your child that experience,Ive been told,repeatedly. But there are so many other things in life that can be equally fulfilling and they dont involve nurturing. Like reading. Or writing and travelling. Im reminded of a very happy friend who doesnt even keep a potted plant in the house,because hell have to water it every day.

Though onlies are way more common now than when I was growing up as an only,the stereotype of single children as spoilt,selfish or just plain weird endures,even thrives. Blame it on popular culture. In Hindi movies when they still had villains,the drunken rapist was always the bade baap ka eklauta aulad. Despite no scientific research that proves single kids are in anyway identifiable,the perception of the solitary misfit is impossible to shake off. In India especially,our thoughts havent evolved as fast as our economy has and were trained to follow the same drill. And myths unfortunately die a very slow death. Eventually in India too,like Sweden,families with one child will outnumber those with two. Till then,count to ten before fending off opinions on what your familys size should be.

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My Space

Its a conversation that crops up at the oddest of places among strangers,family or friends and it generally goes like this: One kid only? By now Im resigned to the next,inevitable question,usually in a more disapproving tone.

Its a conversation that crops up at the oddest of places among strangers,family or friends and it generally goes like this: One kid only? By now Im resigned to the next,inevitable question,usually in a more disapproving tone.