UPSC Ethics Simplified | Ethics and Ethical Attitude— the caselet

Relevance: The topic is a part of UPSC CSE General Studies Paper-IV Ethics Syllabus. Caselets are particularly relevant in the Case Study section. Aspirants will find the article useful for their Essay paper and situational questions in the personality test. Moreover, the essence of the article will help aspirants in their professional lives or in life in general.

Nanditesh Nilay writes for UPSC Ethics Simplified fortnightly on Sundays. The first article will be a concept while the second article will be a caselet based on the concept. Don’t miss the Post Read Questions and Express Inputs below.

THE CASELET
Getting to practice what you preach: In public and private life

He was the district collector and that day he was present as a chief guest in one of the girls high schools. Everyone was looking at him with awe. He was the youngest collector in the city. Later his speech swept the audience and the whole school was impressed by his liberal ideas about women empowerment. He urged all of them to do the studies and later get wings to their dreams. While he was returning, he received a message on his phone. He got upset.

Next day when he reached office there was a written complaint regarding his SDM. The SDM was his favourite team member and a very hardworking, honest and intelligent officer. He had done commendable works in his short tenure and had become somewhat popular among the people. But the complaint was with respect to the personal life of the SDM. He was recently married to a girl from a good family. The girl was well educated and was working in a school for a few years before marriage. The marriage was with the mutual consent of both the partners. But after marriage, the work pressure on the SDM and his wife began to take a toll on their relationship. Both were overworked and found little time to spend together. Gradually, the best of minds were struggling to listen to each other and unusual silence was enveloping the home.

One day the SDM suggested his wife leave her job and focus on domestic responsibilities. His wife resisted and explained that her work was more important to her and she did not want to be dependent on the husband. That reaction was enough to flare up the SDM. He began counting the importance and significance of his work, care and comforts. He even requested but the lady was in no mood to listen. She took the phone and dialed the collector.

On the other hand, the collector was well informed about the good behaviour of both persons. The lady was not willing to leave the job and neither was the SDM. Their married life was losing that institutional fabric. Still the lady was hopeful. Nobody was willing to break the relationship. Clinging to a ray of hope, the wife brought this matter to the notice of the collector.

Post Read Questions:

1. What should be the approach of the collector in handling this issue?

2.How ethics in public and private life are not two separate entities especially in the above case?

3. What are those universal values which ask our attention in this case?

EXPRESS INPUT

Thought Process

Private life challenges provide experiment ground to test one’s ethics he preaches in public life. Is it easy to practice or make others to practice what you preach? How your ethical views may also offer a challenge when in practical life you have to find a solution ? Can ethical attitude help you to convince, influence and persuade? This caselet is a perfect situation to test if ethics is translated to ethical attitude in solving the problem. The crisis in personal lives of civil servants and their spouses who are public figures is also at the heart of the caselet. Between the lines, the general issue of work life balance for men and women and issues in life of working couples is clearly evident. However, the most essential is to assess the approach of the collector and think why he should be concerned at all?

Points to ponder:

Do not miss the following aspects in each paragraph:

1. In the first paragraph the collector is shown ethical and a potential role mode. So what?

2. In the second paragraph the SDM is shown to have an ideal public life. It is his private life which is an issue. Will it affect his public life? What about the perspective of SDM’s wife?

3. In the second paragraph ponder on the lines: The marriage was with the mutual consent of both the partners. But after marriage, the work pressure on the SDM and his wife began to take a toll on their relationship. Both were overworked and found little time to spend together. Gradually, the best of minds were struggling to listen to each other and unusual silence was enveloping the home. Can the collector make the best use of these facts?

4. In the last paragraph see the element of hope. Isn’t their already a scope of solution from the perspective of ethics and ethical attitude?

Beyond the Caselet: Is work affecting your relationship?

In her article (Is work affecting your relationship?) for The Indian Express,  Amrita Sharma wrote:

In today’s world, working couples are more of a rule than an exception. Both partners have their respective careers, their goals and their expectations as well, and since double income is more of a necessity than choice, couples often immerse themselves in their work.

The flipside, however, is that with too much focus on work, relationships often take a beating.

Most couples find themselves spending less time with their spouses and more time at the office. In such a scenario, while they end up thriving professionally, their personal lives leave a lot to be desired.

Take the case of Mahesh and Tanya. Their marriage almost broke down due to Mahesh’s extreme focus on his career.

“His work required him to travel a lot and he would be gone for days. I had to be by myself for long periods and it didn’t bother him that we hardly spent time together. I started feeling unwanted and unloved and finally told him I want out,” she said.

Counsellors say it is very natural for partners of workaholics to feel estranged from their spouses. There is also a possibility of deep resentment setting in and eventually so much the distance creeps in that it becomes difficult to bridge.

Sometimes there is also a lack of awareness about how much is too much with regard to the time one is giving one’s work.

Some couples also find themselves so overwhelmed by their professional life. They unconsciously start putting in too much of their time, thought and energy into work and before they realise it, thewir professional life takes over their personal life.

When Nishant and Diksha joined work, they were both very clear about what they wanted from life.

But when her company started laying off people, Diksha started putting in a lot of time and energy into her job. Though she managed to retain her job, she continued to be stressed out by the amount of time and energy she had to put into it.

Soon it started taking a toll on their marriage. Nishant started feeling neglected and ignored, as Diksha started focusing more on cementing her position in the office.

“She would come home late and then have a quick meal and start working on her laptop again. We barely spoke and our sex life was down in the dumps since she was always tired. I started feeling like I didn’t matter to her at all,” said Nishant.

Diksha, on the other hand, was so pre-occupied with her work that she failed to notice their marriage failing.

Being under the kind of stress she was in, the two would often end up fighting and before they knew it, things came to a point where the two could not hold a decent conversation.

Experts say that it is important for couples to realise that personal life is as important as professional life and maintaining a balance between the two is crucial. They also suggest that the couples share their work stress with the other so that there is no misunderstanding and displaced feeling of neglect.

Counsellors advise that professional life should not seep into personal lives to the extent that there is nothing left to hold a marriage together. They suggest that once home, couples should shut out the office work and focus on each other.

It’s also a good idea to ensure that the couples draw a line between their work life and personal life. For this they need to work out ways to spend time together – go on a vacation, go for a walk, participate in shared activities – so that both partners feel they are important to each other.

So, what do you learn from the above article? Can some of the takeaways be helpful for the collector in the caselet above?

FYI

A person’s true attitude towards ethics can be tested in the challenges of his or her private life. It holds true for public servants especially. When it comes to ethics in marital life spouse’s opinions, interests, aspirations, concerns etc., should be respected. Sharing burdens and responsibilities, giving importance to each others profession and health, supporting each other in crisis are some of the important aspects of a strong marital relationship.

Can you think of some more? Give your views by writing in comment box below.

— Edited by Manas Srivastava

The writer is the author of ‘Being Good and Aaiye, Insaan Banaen’. He teaches courses on and offers training in ethics, values and behaviour. He has been the expert/consultant to UPSC, SAARC countries, Civil services Academy, National Centre for Good Governance, Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), Competition Commission of India (CCI), etc. He has PhD in two disciplines and has been a Doctoral Fellow in Gandhian Studies from ICSSR. His second PhD is from IIT Delhi on Ethical Decision Making among Indian Bureaucrats. He writes for the UPSC Ethics Simplified (Concepts and Caselets) fortnightly.

Share your views, answers and suggestions in the comment box or at manas.srivastava@indianexpress.com